[In an Irish accent] I'll believe ya when me shit turns purple and smells like rainbow sherbet.

Captain O'Hagan

Lieutenant Dan Taylor: Have you found Jesus yet, Gump?
Forrest Gump: I didn't know I was supposed to be looking for him, sir.

Alan Garner: Hey guys, when's the next Haley's comet?
Phil Wenneck: Who cares, man.
Alan Garner: Do you know Stu?
Stu Price: I don't think it's for like another sixty years or something.
Alan Garner: But it's not tonight right?
Stu Price: No I don't think so.
Alan Garner: But you don't know for sure? I have this cousin Marcus who saw one he said it blew his mind I want to make sure I never ever miss out on a Haley's comet.

I arrested a man-lady who was legally named Phuck.

Officer Slater

I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.

Judge Smails

Michael Bolton: I don't know what happened, I must have missed a decimal point or something...
Peter Gibbons: Well, corporate accounts is sure as hell gonna notice $305,326.13 Michael!

I caught you a delicious bass.

Napoleon Dynamite

Now that's what I call high quality H2O.

Bobby Boucher

Don't got the stones? You ignorant punk. I play for money. I owe rent. Child support. I play for money, not the fuckin' world series on ESPN.

Joey Knish

I was raised on a farm in Morrisville, Indiana. My mama ran out on us when I was three, my daddy beat the hell out of me cause he didn't know no better way to raise me. I like baseball, movies, good clothes, fast cars, whiskey, and you... what else you need to know?

John Dillinger

Neo: It's been an honor, sir.
Morpheus: No. The honor is still mine.

Sam: There and Back Again: A Hobbit's Tale by Bilbo Baggins, and The Lord of the Rings by Frodo Baggins. You finished it
Frodo: Not quite. There's room for a little more.

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