[farts] Hey, did somebody step on a duck?Al Czervik
Hooper: That's a twenty footer.
Quint: Twenty-five. Three tons of him.
Al Czervik: What're we, waiting for these guys? Hey Whitey, where's your hat?
Judge Smails: Do you mind, sir. I'm trying to tee off.
Al Czervik: I'll bet you a hundred bucks you slice it into the woods.
Judge Smails: Gambling is illegal at Bushwood sir, and I never slice.
[slices ball into woods]
Judge Smails: *Damn*.
Al Czervik: OK, you can owe me.
Judge Smails: I owe you nothing.
Alfred Pennyworth: Why bats, sir?
Bruce Wayne: Bats frighten me. It's time my enemies share my dread.
Suppose Nancy sees me coming out of the shower and decides to come on to me. I'm looking good, got a luscious v of hair going through my chest pubes down to my ball fro. She takes one look at me and goes " Oh my god, I've had the old bull now I want the young calf" and grabs me by the weiner.Dale Doback
I'm Madea! Ma to the damn D-E-A!Madea
Detective: "You wanna explain why you were speeding?"
Nick: "I was drag racing."
Detective: "In a Prius?"
Nick: "I don't win a lot."
It's easy to get in - it's hard to get out.Gordon Gekko
I've had it! I've had it with wobbly-legged, rum-soaked PIRATES!Elizabeth Swann
Jonathon "Mox' Moxon: The male erection. Pitchin' a tent, sportin' a wood, stiffie, flesh rocket, tall tommy, Mr. Morbis, the march is on, icycle has formed, Jack's magic beanstalk, rigor mortis has set in, Mr. Mushroom-head, mushroom on a stick, purple headed yogurt slinger... oh, and a pedro.
Miss Davis: ...a pedro?
Mox: yeah, uh huh.
You sexy like a chocolate strawberry.Wheeler
[to Shooter] Did that go in? I wasn't watching, did it go in? I didn't see it, could you tell me if it went in?Happy Gilmore