Michael: Sweet love, renew thy force.
[Start of Shakespeare's Sonnet LVI]
Patrick: Hey! Don't say shit like that to me. People can hear you.

Tommy Ryan: That's typical. First class dogs come down here to take a shit.
Jack: That's so we know where we rank in the scheme of things.
Tommy Ryan: Like we could forget.

Forrest Gump: Will you marry me?
[Jenny turns and looks at him]
Forrest Gump: I'd make a good husband, Jenny.
Jenny Curran: You would, Forrest.
Forrest Gump: But you won't marry me.
Jenny Curran: You don't wanna marry me.
Forrest Gump: Why don't you love me, Jenny? I'm not a smart man, but I know what love is.

Dr. Buddy Rydell: Dave, there are two kinds of angry people - explosive and implosive. Explosive is the type of individual you see screaming at the cashier for not taking his coupon. Implosive is the cashier who remains quiet day after day and then finally shoots everyone in the store. You're the cashier.
Dave Buznik: No, no, no. I'm the guy in the frozen food section diallin' 911. I swear.

Napoleon Dynamite: My old girlfriend from Oklahoma was gonna fly out for the dance but she couldn't cause she's doing some modeling right now.
Pedro: Is she hot?
Napoleon Dynamite: See for yourself.
[hands him Deb's glamor shot sample]
Pedro: Wow.
Napoleon Dynamite: Yeah, I took her to the mall to get some glamor shots for her birthday one year.
Pedro: I like her bangs.
Napoleon Dynamite: Me too.

[on killing a fish] Thank you Lord Vishnu. Thank you for coming in the form of a fish and saving our lives.

Pi Patel

Crash Davis: You don't want a ballplayer; you want a stable pony.
Skip: Nah.
Crash Davis: Well, my triple-A contract gets bought out so I can hold some flavor-of-the-month's dick in the bus leagues, is that it? Well, fuck this fucking game!
Crash Davis: I quit, all right? I fucking quit.
[Crash exits the office and stands in the clubhouse for a minute before sticking his head back through the door]
Crash Davis: Who we play tomorrow?
Skip: Winston-Salem. Batting practice at 11:30.

Your daddy was a no-talent pussy, but at least he listened!

Coach Bud Kilmer

The only thing you're working on is diabetes you fat (expletive).


Mac MacGuff: Who's the father?
Juno MacGuff: It's... it's Paulie Bleeker
[everyone stares]
Juno MacGuff: ... What?
Mac MacGuff: I didn't think he had it in him.
Leah: I know, right?

Vizzini: Finish him. Finish him, your way.
Fezzik: Oh good, my way. Thank you Vizzini... what's my way?
Vizzini: Pick up one of those rocks, get behind a boulder, in a few minutes the man in black will come running around the bend, the minute his head is in view, hit it with the rock!!
Fezzik: My way's not very sportsman-like.

Vicki St. Elmo: I'm a virgin.
MacGruber: Not for long.

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