[Nick, Dale and Kurt are visiting Dave in prison] Hello Nick, guy who saved my life, guy who fucked my wife.

Dave Harken

Yoda: Told you, did he?
Luke: Yes.
Yoda: Unexpected, this is, and unfortunate.
Luke: Unfortunate that I know the truth?
Yoda: No! Unfortunate that you rushed to face him... that incomplete was your training. Not ready for the burden were you.

Alan Garner: What if Doug's dead? I can't afford to lose somebody close to me again, it hurts too much. I was so upset when my grandpa died.
Phil Wenneck: How'd he die?
Alan Garner: World War II.
Phil Wenneck: Died in battle?
Alan Garner: No, he was skiing in Vermont, it was just during World War II.

You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles.

Miracle Max

Hey, McFly. I thought I told you never to come in here.

Biff Tannen

Virginia: Hey! What's going on?
Happy Gilmore: Oh, uh, I was just looking for the other half of this bottle and there's some of it and there's some of it right there, too.
Virginia: Why don't you just put it down?
Happy Gilmore: Yeah, I know.

This party's over.

Mace Windu

Sounds like big trouble. You're going to need plenty of legal advice before this thing is over. As your attorney, I advise you to rent a very fast car with no top. And you'll need the cocaine. Tape recorder for special messages. Acapulco shirts. Get the hell out of L.A. for at least 48 hours.

Dr. Gonzo

Prudence (Laura Dern): You see like a wonderful couple.
Jack Byrnes: No, no, no, we're not homosexual.
Greg Focker: Yeah, no.
Jack Brynes: No, no, no, this is my son in law.
Prudence: Oh...
Greg Focker: Yeah no. However, if you're looking to fill a quota, we can be flexible.
Prudence: Okay, that's an interesting joke but I appreciate levity in a moment of misunderstanding so thank you Greg.

A drug person can learn to cope with things like seeing their dead grandmother crawling up their leg with a knife in her teeth. But no one should be asked to handle this trip.

Raoul Duke

Second base... shit.

Jake Taylor

Maybe you should put some shorts on or something, if you want to keep fighting evil today.

The Bowler

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