You've got dirt on your nose. Did you know? Just there.

Hermione

Slider: Goose who's butt did you kiss to get in here anyway?
Goose: The list is long, but distinguished.
Slider: Yeah, well so is my Johnson.

Employee: One Heffer with cheese.
Scarface: You son of a bitch, I'm right behind you! Turn around and ASK me for a Heffer with cheese, yo! Why you gotta make me feel inferior because I'm workin' the grill, B? Damn!
Employee: ...sorry.

Sonny, true love is the greatest thing, in the world - except for a nice MLT - mutton, lettuce and tomato sandwich, where the mutton is nice and lean and the tomato is ripe.... mmm... they're so perky, I love that.

Miracle Max

Ash: [talking to mirror] I'm fine... I'm fine... Mirror Ash: I don't think so. We just cut up our girlfriend with a chainsaw. Does that sound "fine"?

[impersonating the dead butler's voice] My name is Vitolli, how can I be of assistance?

Lazlo Soot

David: Look at us. I'm frozen and you're dead, and I love you.
Sofía: It's a problem.
David: I lost you when I got in that car. I'm sorry.

You can take the girl out of the honky tonk, but you can't take the honky tonk out of the girl.

Bobby Ray

Ty Webb: You take drugs, Danny?
Danny Noonan: Every day.
Ty Webb: Good. Then what's your problem?
Danny Noonan: I don't know.

A good cop can't sleep because he's missing a piece of the puzzle. And a bad cop can't sleep because his conscience won't let him.

Det. Ellie Burr

Bianca: [after Kat has told her that she went out with Joey] How is it possible that I did not know about this?
Kat Stratford: I warned him that if he told anyone, the cheerleading squad would find out how tiny his dick is!

Release the Kraken!
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