I don't believe this! I've got a trig midterm tomorrow, and I'm being chased by Guido, the killer pimp.

Miles

Lillian: This is Becca, from work.
Becca: Is that your husband? [pointing to a man standing behind Lillian]
Annie: Oh no, I don't know him. I'm single.
Becca: I was just so distraught when I was single.
Annie: I'm fine being - by myself. [Becca makes a distressed face]

[in the Watergate hotel; on phone with security] Yeah, sir, you might want to send a maintenance man over to that office across the way. The lights are off, and they must be looking for a fuse box, 'cause them flashlights, they keep me awake.

Forrest Gump

Walter Stratford: My insurance does not cover PMS!
Kat Stratford: Well then, tell them I had a seizure.

[narrating] I know it may look like I was being like a bitch, but that's only because I was acting like a bitch.

Cady

You're why cavemen chiseled on walls.

Simon Bishop

Gandalf: There is one other who knew Bilbo had the Ring. I looked everywhere for the creature Gollum, but the enemy found him first. I don't know how long they tourted him, but through the endless screams and inane babble, they discerned two words
Gollum: SHIRE! BAGGINS!
Frodo: Shire? Baggins? But that would lead them here.
[Cuts to a Ringwraith cutting off a Hobbit's head]
Frodo: Here.
[handing the ring to Gandalf]
Gandalf: No.
Frodo: Gandalf you must take it.
Gandalf: You cannot offer me this ring.
Frodo: I'm giving it to you.
Gandalf: Don't tempt me Frodo. Understand that I would use this Ring from a desire to do good. But through me... it would wield a power too great and terrible to imagine.

Julia: "Let's have sex on top of her! Let's use her like a bed!"
Dale: "That's crossing the line!!!"

Sounds like big trouble. You're going to need plenty of legal advice before this thing is over. As your attorney, I advise you to rent a very fast car with no top. And you'll need the cocaine. Tape recorder for special messages. Acapulco shirts. Get the hell out of L.A. for at least 48 hours.

Dr. Gonzo

A drug person can learn to cope with things like seeing their dead grandmother crawling up their leg with a knife in her teeth. But no one should be asked to handle this trip.

Raoul Duke

Prudence (Laura Dern): You see like a wonderful couple.
Jack Byrnes: No, no, no, we're not homosexual.
Greg Focker: Yeah, no.
Jack Brynes: No, no, no, this is my son in law.
Prudence: Oh...
Greg Focker: Yeah no. However, if you're looking to fill a quota, we can be flexible.
Prudence: Okay, that's an interesting joke but I appreciate levity in a moment of misunderstanding so thank you Greg.

Second base... shit.

Jake Taylor

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