Dojo Master: May I Help You?
Detective James Carter: I'll be asking the questions old man. Who are you?
Dojo Master: Yu.
Detective James Carter: No not me you!
Dojo Master: Yes I'm Yu!
Detective James Carter: Are you deaf?
Dojo Master: No Yu is blind!
Detective James Carter: I'm not blind, you blind
Dojo Master: That is what I just said.
Detective James Carter: You just said what?
Dojo Master: I did not say what, I said Yu.
Detective James Carter: That's what I'm asking you!
Dojo Master: And Yu is answering.
Detective James Carter: Shutup!
Detective James Carter: You!
Dojo Master: Yes?
Detective James Carter: Not You, Him! What's Your name?
Dojo Student: Mi.
Detective James Carter: Yes You!
Dojo Student: I'm Mi.
Dojo Master: He's Mi and I'm Yu.
Detective James Carter: And I'm about to whoop your old ass man because I am sick of playing games!

Well, well, Lupin. Out for a little walk... in the moonlight, are we?

Professor Snape

Jimmy: So Coach, I was thinking about the music for our routine.
Chazz: We're going to skate to one song, and one song [sings] I'm gonna get you get you drunk, get you drunk off my lady humps. My humps, my humps, my lovely lady lumps.
Jimmy: How do you even know what that means?
Chazz: No one knows what it means, but it's provocative.
Jimmy: No it's not, it's...
Chazz: It gets the people GOING!

That's life. If nothing else, its life. It's real, and sometimes it fuckin' hurts, but it's sort of all we have.


John Beckwith: [about Chaz] He lived with his mom till he was forty! She tried to poison his oatmeal!
Jeremy Grey: Erroneous! Erroneous! Erroneous on both accounts!

Richard: Sarcasm is the refuge of losers.
Frank: Really?
Richard: Sarcasm is losers trying to bring winners down to their level.
Frank: Thank you for opening my eyes to what a loser I am!

Edward Cullen: And so the lion fell in love with the lamb.
Isabella Swan: What a stupid lamb.
Edward Cullen: What a sick, masochistic lion.

If you ever wanna eat a Sauerkraut sandwich again take your Wiener Schnitzel lickin' finger and point out on this map what I wanna know.

Lt. Aldo Raine

[drunk, he sees a fake a penguin] It's too damn hot for a penguin to be just walkin' around. I gotta send you back to the South Pole.

Billy Madison

You truly are incorruptible aren't you? You won't kill me out of some misplaced sense of self-righteousness, and I won't kill you, because you're just too much fun. I think you and I are destined to do this forever.

The Joker


Chazz Reinhold

Barbossa: [at a pirate gathering] There's not been a gathering like this in our lifetime.
Jack Sparrow: And I owe them all money.

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