Michel: Jackass.
Hancock: [leans in close to Michel] Call me a jackass one more time.
Michel: Jackass.
Hancock: [grabs Michel and launches him into the sky; turns to chubby kid] You got a problem Thickness?
[chubby kid shakes his head; turns to kid with glasses]
Hancock: How about you Goggles?

Tony Stark: Contrary to popular belief, I know exactly what I'm doing...
[generates a new arc reactor, amidst a glass-splintering explosion]
Tony Stark: Oops!

Vinny Gambini: What about these pants I got on? You think they're okay?
Mona Lisa Vito: Imagine you're a deer. You're prancing along. You get thirsty. You spot a little brook. You put your little deer lips down to the cool, clear water - BAM. A fuckin' bullet rips off part of your head. Your brains are lying on the ground in little bloody pieces. Now I ask ya, would you give a fuck what kind of pants the son-of-a-bitch who shot you was wearing?

If you're using half your concentration to look normal, then you're only half paying attention to whatever else you're doing. Just pointing out something that could save your life. You want society to accept you, but you can't even accept yourself.

Erik Lehnsherr / Magneto

Someone reminded me I once said 'Greed is Good'... now it seems it's legal.

Gordon Gekko

Come on out. Oh, the weather outside is weather...

Surfing Instructor

Once again, a UFO has landed in America, the only country UFOs ever seem to land in.


Chewbacca: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrgh!
C-3PO: He made a fair move. Screaming about it can't help you.
Han Solo: Let him have it. It's not wise to upset a Wookiee.
C-3PO: But sir, nobody worries about upsetting a droid.
Han Solo: That's 'cause droids don't pull people's arms out of their sockets when they lose. Wookiees are known to do that.
Chewbacca: Grrf.
C-3PO: I see your point, sir. I suggest a new strategy, R2: let the Wookiee win.

Shrek: Um... Fiona?
Princess Fiona: Yes, Shrek?
Shrek: I... I love you.
Princess Fiona: Really?
Shrek: Really, really!
Shrek: Mmmm... I love you too.

Can we make out now?

Paulie Bleeker

Yo, bartender, Jobu needs a refill.

Eddie Harris

The world will look up and shout "Save us!"... And I'll whisper "No."


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