Harry: Why would she have you meet her in a bar at ten in the morning?
Lloyd: I just figured she was a raging alcoholic.
[Nick, Dale and Kurt are visiting Dave in prison] Hello Nick, guy who saved my life, guy who fucked my wife.Dave Harken
Turk Malloy: I don't care if it gets messy.
Virgil Malloy: I'll drive you. We'll get him leaving his barber.
Livingston Dell: And I'll inject him.
Basher Tarr: And I'll find a spot to get rid of the body.
Rusty Ryan: All valid ideas. Great initiative. But...
Danny Ocean: But.
Alex Fletcher: [singing] Sleeping with a clown above my bed...
Alex Fletcher: "Clown" is not right
Sophie Fisher: That's "cloud." Why would you put a clown in your bed?
Alex Fletcher: It would not be the first time.
Bob Slydell: Would you bear with me for just a second here.
Peter Gibbons: OK.
Bob Slydell: What if - and believe me this is hypothetical - but what if you were offered some kind of a stock option equity sharing program. Would that do anything for you?
Peter Gibbons: I don't know, I guess. Listen, I'm gonna go. It's been really nice talking to both you guys.
Bob Slydell: Absolutely, the pleasure's all on this side of the table, trust me.
Peter Gibbons: Good luck with your layoffs, all right? I hope your firings go really, really well.
Bob Porter: Excellent.
Bob Slydell: Great... Wow.
Petey Jones: Hey, hey, Lastik. Man, what happened to you?
Louie Lastik: [holding back, in fake pain] Man I just gave your momma a piggy-back ride and she weighs twice as much as I do!
Petey Jones: That ain't funny!
Captain? As you have no First Officer I respectfully submit my candidacy. I can provide character references if you wish.Spock
You are a monster sometimes.Anne
Male Student: [after the beautiful female student has guessed 5 out of 5 cards right while he has "none"; actually he has one] What are you trying to prove here, anyway?
Dr. Peter Venkman: I'm studying the effects of negative reinforcement on ESP ability
Male Student: The effect? I'll tell you what the effect is, it's pissing me off!
I'm not saying I'm responsible for this countries longest run of uninterrupted peace in 35 years! I'm not saying that from the ashes of captivity, never has an American saying been more personified, I'm not saying Uncle Sam can kick back on a long chair sipping on an ice tea because I haven't come across anyone man enough to face me on my best day!Tony Stark
I used to use this gun when I was a prostitute.Red
Suze: Fluent in Finnish?
Rebecca Bloomwood: Everyone has fudged their resume a little.