Ty Webb: Let me tell you a little story? I once knew a guy who could have been a great golfer, could have gone pro, all he needed was a little time and practice. Decided to go to college instead. Went for four years, did pretty well. At the end of his four years, his last semester he was kicked out... You know what for? He was night putting, just putting at night with the fifteen-year-old daughter of the Dean... You know who that guy was Danny?
Danny Noonan: No.
Ty Webb: Take one good guess.
Danny Noonan: Bob Hope?
Ty Webb: Ha ha... No, that guy was Mitch Comstein, my roommate. He was a good guy.

Mrs. Nordberg: Oh, my poor Nordberg! He was such a good man, Frank. He never wanted to hurt anyone. Who would do such a thing?
Frank: It's hard to tell. A gang of thugs, a blackmailer, an angry husband, a gay lover...

[to his Asian companion] I hear this place is restricted, Wang, so don't tell 'em you're Jewish, okay?

Al Czervik

You cast a big shadow.

Rocky Jr.

Rachel: I'm with B.N.S.
Kelly Robinson: Yeah, what's B.N.S. stand for? Bitch that Needs some Slapping?

Reporter: Where did you get the name, "The Italian Stallion?"
Rocky: Oh I made that up one night while I was eating dinner.

He's gonna marry me.

Sloane

Cruiser: I joined the army 'cause my father and my brother were in the army. I figured I better join before I got drafted.
Sergeant Hulka: Son, there ain't no draft no more.
Cruiser: There was one?

Steven: When you wake up tomorrow, all this will seem like a bad dream.
Emily: What if there is no tomorrow?

Diego: Does it come with balloons?
Mark: What am I, a birthday clown? NO! It doesn't come with balloons. Suck it off the tap!

Walter Stratford: My insurance does not cover PMS!
Kat Stratford: Well then, tell them I had a seizure.

Westley: Look. Are you just fiddling around with me or what?
Fezzik: I just want you to feel you're doing well. I hate for people to die embarrassed.

FREE Movie Newsletter