[impersonating the dead butler's voice] My name is Vitolli, how can I be of assistance?

Lazlo Soot

Bella: Jake, don't go.
Jacob: I know how this ends and I'm not gonna stick around to watch.

Dale: Kirby! How are you?
Kirby: I'm obsessed thank you very much.

The Dude: Look, just stay away from my fucking lady friend.
Da Fino: Hey, I'm not messing with your special lady.
The Dude: She's not my special lady, she's my fucking lady friend. I'm just helping her conceive.

Peter Bretter: Maybe this is a sign from God that I should forget her.
Darald: Maybe this is a sign that you should be WITH her. I love her show. When they mix the sexuality and the violence, I like it.

Supreme Chancellor: Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis "the wise"?
Anakin Skywalker: No.
Supreme Chancellor: I thought not. It's not a story the Jedi would tell you. It's a Sith legend. Darth Plagueis was a Dark Lord of the Sith, so powerful and so wise he could use the Force to influence the midichlorians to create life... He had such a knowledge of the dark side that he could even keep the ones he cared about from dying.
Anakin Skywalker: He could actually save people from death?
Supreme Chancellor: The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural.
Anakin Skywalker: What happened to him?
Supreme Chancellor: He became so powerful... the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice killed him in his sleep. It's ironic he could save others from death, but not himself.

[hypnotizing Derek] Hi Derek! My name's Little Cletus and I'm here to tell you a few things about child labor laws, ok? They're silly and outdated. Why back in the 30s, children as young as five could work as they pleased; from textile factories to iron smelts. Yippee! Hurray!

Mugatu

That's a pretty fucking good milkshake. I don't know if it's worth five dollars but it's pretty fucking good.

Vincent

See, I'm a man of simple tastes. I like gunpowder...and dynamite...and gasoline! Do you know what all of these things have in common? They're cheap!

The Joker

I like to think that if you put your trust out there, I mean if you really give people the benefit of the doubt and see their best intentions, people will rise to the occasion.

Ned

Seth: I drew dicks.
Evan: Like a man dick?
Seth: Yes, like a man dick.
Evan: That's supergay.

Mr. Gibbs: Then, on the fourth day, he roped himself a couple of sea turtles, lashed 'em together and made a raft.
Will Turner: He roped a couple of sea turtles.
Mr. Gibbs: Aye. Sea turtles.
Will Turner: What did he use for rope?
Jack Sparrow: [from beside them] Human hair.
[pause]
Jack Sparrow: From my back.

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