Fact is, all lies, all evil deeds, they stink. You can cover them up for a while, but they don't go away.

Dalton Russell

You've spun your last web, Spider-Man.

Green Goblin

Find me that piece of paper I had in my hand yesterday morning.

Miranda Priestly

[to Batman] Come on, I want you do it, I want you to do it. Come on, hit me. *Hit me!*

The Joker

Zeus: Why are you doing this?
Hades: You want me to say it, brother? You want me to say I'm afraid? Doesn't that go without saying? When mortals die, their souls go somewhere - there's no place where gods go when they die! There's nothing, just oblivion...

Television. Television is the explanation for this - you see this in bad television. Little assault guys creeping through the vents, coming in through the ceiling - that James Bond shit never happens in real life! Professionals don't do that!

Paul Smecker

You measure yourself by the people who measure themselves by you.

Carter Chambers

You wanna waste my time? Okay. I call my lawyer. He's the best lawyer in Miami. He's such a good lawyer, that by tomorrow morning, you gonna be working in Alaska. So dress warm.

Tony Montana

Life is short, but marriage is long... so drink up, and it will make it go a hell of a lot faster.

Katharine

Roman Pearce: This shit went from mission impossible, to mission of freakin' insanity!
Dominic: Just stick to the plan.

Barry Badrinath: I was in Thailand, playing Ping-Pong in Ding Dang. I was in a real high-stakes game in some opium den. Turned out the guys I was playing aren't the kind of guys who like to lose. After I beat them... they beat me. Worked me over pretty good. And this is hard to say... but they held me down... and they shoved a ping pong paddle up my ass. It's never been the same. I'm damaged goods.
Steve "Fink" Finklestein: Gosh, Barry, I'm so sorry. I don't know what I would do if somebody shoved a paddle handle up my ass.
Barry Badrinath: Wasn't the handle. I've been shitting pancakes ever since.

Skipper: We've lost engine one.
Private: And engine two is no longer on fire.
Kowalski: [on the microphone] This is your captain speaking. I have good news and bad news. The good news is that we will be landing immediately.
[everyone claps]
Kowalski: The bad news is we're crash landing.

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