Harry Doyle: That's all we got, one goddamn hit?
Assistant: You can't say goddamn on the air.
Harry Doyle: Don't worry, nobody is listening anyway.

Ted: Thunder Buddies for life, right, Johnny?
John: Fucking right!
Ted: All right, come on, let's sing The Thunder Song."
John: All right.
John & Ted: When you hear the sound of thunder, don't you get too scared. Just grab your thunder buddy and say these magic words. Fuck you, thunder! You can suck my dick! You can't get me, thunder, 'cause you're just God's farts.

Weave a circle round him thrice / And close your eyes with holy dread / For he on honey-dew hath fed / And drunk the milk of Paradise.

Doc Holliday

[when Charlie proposes to have sex with her] I'm going to fuck you till you die!

Eleanor Skipple

Jack: Don't do it!
Rose: Stay back! Don't come any closer!
Jack: Come on, just give me your hand. I'll pull you back over.
Rose: No, stay where you are! I mean it! I'll let go!
Jack: No, you won't.
Rose: What do you mean, "No I won't"? Don't presume to tell me what I will and will not do, you don't know me!
Jack: Well, you would've done it already.
Rose: You're distracting me! Go away!
Jack: I can't. I'm involved now. If you let go, I'm gonna have to jump in there after you.
Rose: Don't be absurd. You'd be killed! The fall alone would kill you.

Thorny: All right Arlo, why don't you hop up on Uncle Rabbit's lap?
Rabbit: [Indicating that he still has an erection] I don't think that's such a good idea, Thorny!

[staring at Miss Davis's breasts] Miss Davis, would you go to the prom with me?

Billy Bob

Will: You wanna call me "Daddy" while I fuck you, huh?
Aileen: I'll try. Why? You like to fuck your kids?

The message Hollywood needs to send out is 'Smoking Is Cool!'

Nick Naylor

Charlie Tweeder: Hey you wanna see the new Tweeder end zone dance?
[Tweeder dances]
Charlie Tweeder: You know what it's called?
Mox: What?
Charlie Tweeder: The new Tweeder end zone dance.

Something draws near. I can feel it.


Phil: What would you do if you were stuck in one place and every day was exactly the same, and nothing that you did mattered?
Ralph: That about sums it up for me.

FREE Movie Newsletter