Claire Miller: [to the wounded Rick] You sure you can fly this thing with one hand?
Rick: Honey, you'd be surprised at what a man can do with one hand.

Stu Price: Why don't we remember a god damn thing from last night?
Phil Wenneck: Obviously because we had a great fucking tim

Into exile, I must go. Failed, I have.

Yoda

Tyler Durden: Did you know if you mixed equal parts of gasoline and frozen orange juice concentrate you can make napalm?
Narrator: No. I did not know that. Is that true?
Tyler Durden: That's right; one can make all kinds of explosives using simple household items...
Narrator: Really?
Tyler Durden: If one were so inclined.

No matter what I do, no matter how hard I try, the ones I love will always be the ones who pay.

Peter Parker

Don't beat yourself up over this, Mitch. It's not your fault. Dammit, Blue was old. That's what old people do. They die.

Beanie

A flute without holes, is not a flute. A donut without a hole, is a Danish.

Ty Webb

Hansel: Yeah, you're cool to hide here, but first me and him got to straighten some shit out.
Derek Zoolander: Fine.
Hansel: Why you been acting so messed up towards me?
Derek Zoolander: Why you been acting so messed up towards me?
Hansel: Well, you go first.

She was like the water that freezes inside a rock and breaks it apart. It was no more her fault than it is the fault of the water when the rock shatters.

One Stab

Elihu, will you come loofah my stretch marks?

Mrs. Smails

Wendell: You think this boy Moss has got any notion of the sorts of sons of bitches that're huntin' him?
Ed Tom Bell: I don't know, he ought to. He's seen the same things I've seen, and it's certainly made an impression on me.

You should probably go, Doctor Faggot.

Melissa

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