Dr. Beeper: I thought you'd be the man to beat this year.
Ty Webb: I guess you'll just have to keep beating yourself.
Phil Wenneck: Would you shut up and drive before these nerds ask me another question. Who's this?
Doug Billings: It's Alan. Tracy's brother.
Alan Garner: I met you like four times.
Phil Wenneck: Oh, yeah. How you doing, man?
[to Asian gangsters] Your head is going up his ass, his head is going up his ass, and you get the short end of the straw, cause your head is going up my ass!Hancock
Biff Tannen: That's about as funny as a screen door on a battleship.
Marty McFly: [under his breath] It's screen door on a submarine, you dork.
Patrick: Well maybe you're not afraid of me but I'm sure you've thought about me naked, huh?
Kat Stratford: [sarcastically] Am I that transparent? I want you, I *need* you, oh baby, oh baby.
Wendell: That's very linear Sherrif.
Ed Tom Bell: Well, age will flatten a man.
Alan Garner: There's a jungle cat in the bathroom!
Phil Wenneck: [phil walks into the bathroom, then hurries out] Holy fuck he's not kidding. There's a tiger in the bathroom!
I'm just a simple man, trying to make my way in the universe.Jango Fett
The Shoveller: Lucille, God gave me a gift. I shovel well. I shovel very well.
Lucille: Honey, you shovel better than any man I've ever known, but that does not make you a super hero.
[the Shoveller starts to say something, but Lucille cuts him off]
Lucille: No, listen to me. You're a good husband, and a good father. But that's all. Nothing more.
[she walks offscreen, a small boy wearing a Captain Amazing T-shirt hugs The Shoveller's leg]
Roland, The Shoveler's Son: I believe in you, Daddy!
Lucille: [calling from off-screen] Roland, do *not* encourage your father.
Det. Roland Castlebeck: GOD!
Drycoff: Man this guy can drive!
Det. Roland Castlebeck: What? WHAT?
Drycoff: It's probably mostly the car.
Crash Davis: Relax, all right? Don't try to strike everybody out. Strikeouts are boring! Besides that, they're fascist. Throw some ground balls - it's more democratic.
Ebby Calvin LaLoosh: [to himself] What's this guy know about pitching? If he's so good how come he's been in the minors for the last ten years? If he's so good how come Annie wants me instead of him?
Crash Davis: Oh, hey, and another thing, Meat. You don't know shit, all right? If you wanna make it to the bigs, you'll listen to me. Annie only wants you so she can boss you around, got it? So relax! Let's have some fun out here! This game's fun, OK? Fun goddamnit. And don't hold the ball so hard, OK? It's an egg. Hold it like an egg.
Mmmm... tastes good!The Hammer