Biff Tannen: That's about as funny as a screen door on a battleship.
Marty McFly: [under his breath] It's screen door on a submarine, you dork.
Sim: What do you see?
Sherlock Holmes: Everything. That is my curse.
Dr. Jeff [asking Adam and Nick about Lou]: "You are his friends, right?"
Nick: "It's like that friend who's an asshole, but he's our asshole."
Coach Paul 'Doc' Hines: You have twelve brothers and sisters?
Coach Boone: Eight.
Coach Paul 'Doc' Hines: Yeah, twelve sounds better.
Loretta Bell: Be careful.
Ed Tom Bell: I always am.
Loretta Bell: Don't get hurt.
Ed Tom Bell: I never do.
Loretta Bell: Don't hurt no one.
Ed Tom Bell: [smiles] Well. If you say so.
Maude Lebowski: Do you like sex, Mr. Lebowski?
The Dude: 'Scuse me?
Maude Lebowski: Sex. The physical act of love. Coitus. Do you like it?
The Dude: I was talking about my rug.
Maude Lebowski: You're not interested in sex?
The Dude: You mean coitus?
The Shoveller: Lucille, God gave me a gift. I shovel well. I shovel very well.
Lucille: Honey, you shovel better than any man I've ever known, but that does not make you a super hero.
[the Shoveller starts to say something, but Lucille cuts him off]
Lucille: No, listen to me. You're a good husband, and a good father. But that's all. Nothing more.
[she walks offscreen, a small boy wearing a Captain Amazing T-shirt hugs The Shoveller's leg]
Roland, The Shoveler's Son: I believe in you, Daddy!
Lucille: [calling from off-screen] Roland, do *not* encourage your father.
Phil Wenneck: The best little chapel... Hey doc, do you know the address of that place?
Dr. Valsh: Oh, you know, I do know the address. It's at the corner of go fuck yourself and buy a map!
Evan: Yeah chicks go nuts for that... the male camel toe.
Seth: Yea yea! The camel tail.
Abraham Lincoln: Abolishing slavery by constitutional provisions settles the fate for all coming time. Not only of the millions now in bondage, but of unborn millions to come. Two votes stand in its way. These votes must be procured.
William Seward: We need two yeses. Three abstentions. Four yeses and one more abstention and the amendment will pass.
Abraham Lincoln: You've got a night and a day and a night; several perfectly good hours! Now get the hell out of here and get them!
James Ashley: Yes. But how?
Abraham Lincoln: Buzzard's guts, man! I am the President of the United States of America! Clothed in immense power! You will procure me these votes.
Malfoy: Why so tense, Potter? My father and I have a bet, you see. See, I don't think you're going to last ten minutes in this tournament. He disagrees. He thinks you won't last five!
Harry: I don't give a damn what your father thinks, Malfoy! He's vile and cruel, and you're just pathetic!
[as children, Metro Man is given stars from the teacher, while Megamind is made to stand in a corner]
Megamind: No matter what happened, I wa always the last chosen, the odd one out, the black sheep... the bad boy. Was this my destiny?... Wait. Maybe it WAS! Being bad is the one thing I'm good at! Then it hit me: if I was the bad boy, then I was going to be the baddest boy of them ALL!
[sets off a chemical explosion in the schoolhouse]
Megamind: I was destined to be a supervillain, and we were destined to be rivals! The die was cast! And so began an epic enduring lifelong career... and I LOVED IT!