Mike: Hi there, this is Mike Donnelly. I work over here at the recreational center. To be honest with you I pretty much run the place ha, ha, ha. Is this ah Pat Gyles? Good, Good. Hey, hope everything's going great in your fine town of er Avery? Edward! Ha, ha, ha. Say, the reason I'm calling is I wanted to tell you a little bit about the candidacy of Al Donnelly. Al Donnelly's a guy with a dream. His dream is to become governor of this great state of Washington. Hell, every guy's got his dream, am I right? Between you, me and the wall here, I doozy myself last night. Ha ha, ha, ha. Get this: A corn-fed harvest mouse, a hooker, a nun, a Flemish peasant woman, whips, chains, whistles yo-yo's, a circus midget. My grandmother riding by on a bicycle give me the finger, and a duck! Now, I don't know ha, ha, ha. Are you crying? Oh my lord. I am sorry honey, please don't ! Could you get your daddy on the phone. No, don't hang up please I...

A lot of holes in the desert, and a lot of problems are buried in those holes. But you gotta do it right. I mean, you gotta have the hole already dug before you show up with a package in the trunk. Otherwise, you're talking about a half-hour to 45 minutes worth of digging. And who knows who's gonna come along in that time? Pretty soon, you gotta dig a few more holes. You could be there all fuckin' night.

Nicky Santoro

Come on out. Oh, the weather outside is weather...

Surfing Instructor

FYI, I have beat wholesale ass for a whole lot less.

Tallahassee

Elrond: Gandalf, the enemy is moving. Sauron's forces are massing in the east, his eye is fixed on Rivendell. And Saruman, you tell me, has betrayed us. Our list of allies grows thin.
Gandalf: His treachery runs deeper than you know. By foul craft, Saruman has crossed Orcs with goblin men. He's breeding an army in the caverns of Isengard. An army that can move in sunlight and cover a great distance at speed. Saruman is coming for the Ring.
Elrond: This evil cannot be concealed by the power of the Elves. We do not have the strength to withstand both Mordor and Isengard. Gandalf, the Ring cannot stay here. This evil belongs to all of Middle-Earth. They must decide now how to end it. The time of the Elves is over, my people are leaving these shores. Who will you look to when we've gone? The Dwarves? They toil away in caverns, seeking riches. They care nothing for the troubles of others.
Gandalf: It is in Men that we must place our hope.

Django: Cora, say goodbye to Miss Laura.
Cora: Goodbye, Miss Laura...
Django: Goodbye, Miss Laura!

Samuel Jackson Look-Alike: I have had it with these goddamn snakes on this goddamn plane!
Susan: Oh, I know, please help!
Samuel Jackson Look-Alike: I have had it with these goddamn snakes on this goddamn plane!
Susan: I know...
Samuel Jackson Look-Alike: I have had it with these goddamn snakes on this goddamn plane!
Susan: Why do you keep saying that?
Samuel Jackson Look-Alike: Because internet bloggers love when I say, "I have had it with these goddamn snakes on this goddamn plane!"
Susan: Why are you yelling?
Samuel Jackson Look-Alike: Shut up, bitch! I'm always yelling! I'm Samuel Goddamn Jackson!
Susan: [Shocked] Bitch?
["Samuel Jackson" grabs Susan and throws her from the plane]

Police Chief Grady: I will have the enchilada platter with two tacos and no guacamoles. Mike?
Local Officer Rando: Yeah, chief. I'll have a CHINCHILLA!
Rabbit: I don't get it. Tacos?
Thorny: They think I'm Mexican.
Rabbit: You're not?

I'm the motherfucker who found this place, sir!

Maya

Darth Vader: Luke... help me take this mask off.
Luke: But you'll die.
Darth Vader: Nothing can stop that now. Just for once... let me... look on you with my OWN eyes.

People ask the question...what's a RocknRolla? And I tell 'em - it's not about drugs, drums, and hospital drips, oh no. There's more there than that, my friend. We all like a bit of the good life - some the money, some the drugs, other the sex game, the glamour, or the fame. But a RocknRolla, oh, he's different. Why? Because a real RocknRolla wants the fucking lot.

Archie

She hasn't answered your calls, she didn't respond to any of your letters, she didn't respond to the candygram. God only knows what happened to the kitten you got for her. 'Cause she didn't keep it, and I know you're not raising the goddamn thing. I think it's very obvious at this juncture that she just flat out does not wanna see you anymore.

Jeremy Grey

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