Mini Me, if I ever lost you I don't know what I would do. [pauses] I'd probably move on and get another clone but there would be a 15 minute period there where I would just be inconsolable.

Dr. Evil

John Smith: Hiya, stranger.
Jane Smith: Hiya back.

Ty Webb: Let me just clean this up here...
[lifts up bow and arrow]
Ty Webb: Getting ready for the season.
Lacey Underall: Duck?
Ty Webb: No... dolphin.

Patrick: I thought you wanted out.
Cameron: Yeah, well, I did, but, uh... that was until she kissed me.
Patrick: Where?
Cameron: In the car.

Spidey, love the new outfit. Give me some of that web action.

Eddie Brock

(Allen finds his precious missing car has been recovered)
Cop: From bodily fluids and hair samples we determined that... a bunch of old homeless dudes had an orgy in there.
Allen Gamble: Oh God.
Cop: It's called a 'soup kitchen'. ...A mama raccoon came along and gave birth on the floor, placenta blew out all over the back window there.

Seth: Yeah, but it doesn't actually show dick going in which is a huge concern.
Evan: I didn't realize that.

Statesman: My good king! My good king! The oracle has spoken. The Ephors have spoken. There must be no march!
Theron: It is the law, my lord. The Spartan army must not go to war.
King Leonidas: Nor shall it. I've given no such orders. I'm here, just taking a stroll, stretching my legs...
[pauses and looks back]
King Leonidas: These 300 men are my personal bodyguard.

Tigress: You would think that Master Oogway would choose someone who knows kung fu.
Crane: Or be able to touch his toes.
Monkey: Or see his toes.

They delivered me on a train, wrapped up like a present.

Bob Lee Swagger

This time it ain't just about being fast.

Dominic Toretto

Look, I'm not stupid. It's the Big Man's wife. I'm gonna sit across from her, chew my food with my mouth closed, laugh at her fucking jokes, and that's it.


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