Rango: Is this Heaven?
Spirit of the West: If it were, wouldn't we be eating strawberry Pop-Tarts with Kim Novak?

Willy: Children, do you wanna know what makes all my candy taste so special?
Edward: Uh-huh.
Willy: It's a special secret ingredient. It's real human parts. There's gonna be a little itty bitty piece of each and every one of you inside of the yummy yum candy, literally.

Dr. Evil: You see, I've turned the moon into what I like to call a "Death Star."
Scott: [snickers]
Dr. Evil: What?
Scott: Oh, nothing, Darth.
Dr. Evil: What did you call me?
Scott: Nothing.
Scott: [pretends to sneeze] Ripoff.
Dr. Evil: Bless you.

"Due to our tight fiscal situation, we regret to inform you we are still going to have to close your station. Good luck in Sherbune, John. And give your men my best. Sincerely, Governor Fuckhead."

Captain O'Hagan

Jay: So why the long face, Horse? Banky on the rag?
Holden: I'm just, ahh... just havin' a little girl trouble.
Jay: Bitch pressin' charges? I get that a lot.

Listen, not a year goes by, not a year, that I don't hear about some escalator accident involving some bastard kid which could have easily been avoided had some parent - I don't care which one - but some parent conditioned him to fear and respect that escalator.


Dave: I'm walking to my car, and this guy comes up to me. Asks for a light. I say I don't smoke. He says neither does he. So then my heart starts clocking a buck fifty, 'cause there's no one else here except me and him. So then he pulls the knife on me. Says, 'Your wallet or your life, bitch. I'm leaving with one of them'. So I try to brush past him, and that's when he slices me.
Celeste Boyle: I thought you said you swung at him.
Dave: Can I tell the fucking story?

First I get my name in the phone book and now I'm on your ass. You know, I'll bet more people see that than the phone book.

Navin Johnson

Dr. Peter Venkman: I'll take Miss Barret back to her apartment and check her out.
[Dana Barret looks up confused]
Dr. Peter Venkman: I'll go check out Miss Barret's apartment. OK?

I have this cousin Marcus who saw one he said it blew his mind I want to make sure I never ever miss out on a Haley's comet.

Alan Garner

The Blue Raja: Your boy's a limey fork-flinger, Mother. What *will* the bridge club say?
Blue Raja's mother: You need more forks?

Brody: Is it true that most people get attacked by sharks in three feet of water about ten feet from the beach?
Hooper: Yeah.
Brody: And that... and that before people started to swim for recreation - I mean before sharks knew what they were missing - that a lot of these attacks weren't reported?
Hooper: That's right.
Brody: Now this shark that... that... that swims alone...
Hooper: Rogue.
Brody: What's it called?
Hooper, Brody: [together] Rogue.

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