Jehovah's Witness: Are you prepared for Jehovah's return? 'Cause if you're not, we've got a pam...
[Craig slams the door in their faces]
Jehovah's Witness: Well fuck you. Half-dead motherfucker. Come on, sister.

Did you guys see the size of that chicken?

"Dirty Steve" Stephens

Vivian: Don't you just love Prince?
Edward Lewis: More than life itself.

Edward Lewis: What's your name?
Vivian: What do you want it to be?

Vivian: Are you sure you want me to stay the night? I mean, I could just pop ya real good and get outta here.
Edward Lewis: No, I'd really like you to stay. I don't want to be alone tonight.
Vivian: Is it your birthday?
Edward Lewis: No, no. Not my birthday.
Vivian: Oh. 'Cause you know, I've been the surprise at a lot of birthday parties.
Edward Lewis: I'll bet you have.

Impossible relationships. My special gift is impossible relationships.

Edward Lewis

[talking to Deacon] I know you don't want to go to jail in Mexico because nobody wants to go to jail in Mexico. They put all kinds of burritos in your ass.

Miles Logan

I want the fairy tale.

Vivian

Wayne: Who are you?
Jim: I'm Jim Morrison.
Wayne: And who's he?
Jim: A weird naked indian.

Ignorance is bliss, my friend. Don't burden yourself with the secrets of scary people.

Carmine Falcone

[singing] I could while away the hours/conferrin' with the flowers/consultin' with the rain/And my head I'd be scratchin'/ While my thoughts were busy hatchin'/If I only had a brain.

Scarecrow

Mugatu is so hot right now he could take a crap, wrap it in tinfoil, put a couple fish hooks on it and sell it to Queen Elizabeth as earrings.

Maury Ballstein

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