Dale Doback: I manage a baseball team.
Nancy Huff: Oh, little league?
Dale Doback: Fantasy league.

Vanessa Kensington: That's you in a nutshell.
Austin Powers: No, this is me in a nutshell: "Help! I'm in a nutshell! How did I get into this bloody great big nutshell? What kind of shell has a nut like this?"

The bible is filled with demons. If you believe in God, you have to believe in the devil. Jesus himself was an exorcist. Therefore, if you are Christian and you believe in the bible, and you believe in Jesus Christ, you have to believe in demons.

Cotton Marcus

C-3PO: Oh. They've encased him in Carbonite. He should be quite well protected. If he survived the freezing process, that is.
Darth Vader: Well, Calrissian, did he survive?
Lando: Yes, he's alive, and in perfect hibernation.
Darth Vader: He's all yours, bounty hunter.

Todd Wolfhouse: Jim Tobleson said they called in a hostage negotiator
Landfill: Jim Tobleson's a fucking Chatty Cathy! I did my three years up at the county pen. Made some friends, went Muslim. Now I'm out, praise Allah.

Thurgood Jenkins: I be from Jamaica, mon. Lord have mercy.
Samson Simpson: What part of Jamaica?
Thurgood Jenkins: Right near da beach. Boy-eeee!

Phew! I haven't felt that good since Archie Gemmill scored against Holland in 1978!

Mark "Rent-boy" Renton

Nothing makes a woman feel more like a girl than a man who sings like a boy.


Vanessa: Why don't you just fly everywhere? Isn't it faster?
Barry B. Benson: Because flying gets very tiring. Why don't you humans just run everywhere, isn't that faster?
Vanessa: I see your point.

Droz: Frog And Toad Are Friends, that's with the guy from The Clash, right?
Gutter: [confused] The...
Droz: The Clash. I don't know if you're aware of this, Gutter, but there actually was music recorded before 1989.

[singing] I could while away the hours/conferrin' with the flowers/consultin' with the rain/And my head I'd be scratchin'/ While my thoughts were busy hatchin'/If I only had a brain.


Mike Lowrey: Hello?
Marcus Burnett: We're your new neighbors.
Mike Lowrey: Don't be alarmed, we're negros.
Marcus Burnett: Naw man, naw. There's too much bass in your voice. That scares white folks. You got to sound like them.
Marcus Burnett: We were wondering if we could borrow some brown sugar...?

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