Randy: Can I get you something?
Second Jive Dude: 'S'mofo butter layin' me to da' BONE! Jackin' me up... tight me!
Randy: I'm sorry, I don't understand.
First Jive Dude: Cutty say 'e can't HANG!
Jive Lady: Oh stewardess! I speak jive.
Randy: Oh, good.
Jive Lady: He said that he's in great pain and he wants to know if you can help him.
Randy: All right. Would you tell him to just relax and I'll be back as soon as I can with some medicine?
Jive Lady: [to the Second Jive Dude] Jus' hang loose, blood. She gonna catch ya up on da' rebound on da' med side.
Second Jive Dude: What it is, big mama? My mama no raise no dummies. I dug her rap!
Jive Lady: Cut me some slack, Jack! Chump don' want no help, chump don't GET da' help!
First Jive Dude: Say 'e can't hang, say seven up!
Jive Lady: Jive ass dude don't got no brains anyhow! Shiiiiit.

So what's this Vivian got that you don't have? Three tits?


Donkey: Don't mess wit' me. I'm the Stair Master. I've Mastered the Stairs. I wish I had a step right here, I could step here and here and here and step all over it.
Shrek: Donkey, two things okay? Shut... up.

Don't you point those dirty, green sausages at me!

Fairy Godmother

He doesn't know it's a damn show! He thinks it's a damn fight!

Apollo's Trainer

[to the mirror's reflection of his 13-inch penis] I am a star. I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star.... I am a big, bright, shining star. Yeah, that's right.


Westley: I mean, if we only had a wheelbarrow, that would be something.
Inigo Montoya: Where we did we put that wheelbarrow the albino had?
Fezzik: Over the albino, I think.
Westley: Well, why didn't you list that among our assets in the first place?

Marcus Brody: Indy, Henry, follow me. I know the way. Ha!
[Marcus' horse rides off with him barely hanging on]
Professor Henry Jones: Got lost in his own museum, eh?
Indiana Jones: Uh-huh.
Professor Henry Jones: After you, Junior.
Indiana Jones: Yes, sir. Ha!

Oh man... the bullshit piled up so fast in Vietnam, you needed wings to stay above it.


Shut your mouth. Sh-sh-shut your mouth.

Brennan Huff

Colonel Robert G. Shaw: [points at the flag bearer] If this man should fall, who will lift the flag and carry on?
Cpl. Thomas Searles: I will.
Colonel Robert G. Shaw: I'll see you in the fort, Thomas.

In case I forget to tell you later, I had a really good time tonight.


FREE Movie Newsletter