Sugar: [admiring a large fish trophy] What is it?
Junior: It's a member of the herring family.
Sugar: A herring? Isn't it amazing how they get those big fish into those little glass jars?
Junior: They shrink when they're marinated.

What Jefferson was saying was, Hey! You know, we left this England place 'cause it was bogus; so if we don't get some cool rules ourselves - pronto - we'll just be bogus too! Get it?

Jeff Spicoli

You're not a killer. That's why you're so good at it.

Teddy

Anakin Skywalker: You're with him! You brought him here to kill me!
Padmé: No!

Michael: Is that why you slapped my brother around in public?
Fredo: Aw, now that, that was nothin', Mike. Now, now, uh, Moe didn't mean nothin' by that. Sure he flies off the handle once in a while, but Moe and me, we're good friends, right Moe? Huh?
Moe Greene: I got a business to run. I gotta kick asses sometimes to make it run right. We had a little argument, Freddy and I, so I had to straighten him out.
Michael: You straightened my brother out?
Moe Greene: He was banging cocktail waitresses two at a time! Players couldn't get a drink at the table! What's wrong with you?
Michael: I leave for New York tomorrow, think about a price.
Moe Greene: Sonofabitch! Do you know who I am? I'm Moe Greene! I made my bones when you were going out with cheerleaders!

It's not what you know, it's what you can prove.

Alonzo Harris

Joey, have you ever been in a... in a Turkish prison?

Captain Oveur

[to Wilbur] Mister, you are grounded... until you die.

Franny

[very unenthusiastically, while having sex with Peter] Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. I just came. Uh. Uh. Uh.

Model

Well, what if there is no tomorrow? There wasn't one today.

Phil

Harry: A tad? A tad, Lloyd? You drove almost a sixth of the way across the country in the wrong direction! Now we don't have enough money to get to Aspen, we don't have enough money to get home, we don't have enough money to eat, we don't have enough money to sleep!
Lloyd: Well, it's not gonna do us any good sitting here whining about it. We're in a hole. We're just going to have to dig ourselves out.

All right, Hunt. Enough is enough. You have bribed, cajoled, and killed, and you have done it using loyalties on the inside. You want to shake hands with the devil, that's fine with me. I just want to make sure that you do it in hell!

Eugene Kittridge

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