Manhole. I like that word. Manhole.

Shelley

Coach Gary Gaines: So how is it out there?
Ivory Christian: They're fast, they're big, they're dirty... plus they're fast.
Coach Gary Gaines: You said that already.

Step right up and shoot the pasties off the nipples of a ten foot bull dyke! Win a cotton candy goat!

Clown Barker

[Reading from a manuscript of what Bruce said the previous evening] "The gloves are off, God.", "God has taken my bird and my bush.", "God is a mean kid with a magnifying glass.", "Smite me, O Mighty Smiter." Now, I'm not big on blasphemy, but that last one made me laugh.

God

Crew member: Thirteen meters; you should see it.
Brock Lovett: [seeing the shipwreck for the first time] OK; take her up and over the bow rail.

David Justice: What's your biggest fear?
Scott Hatteberg: A baseball being hit in my general direction.

Where are all the white women at?

Gunman at Fair in Final Scene

Capt. Dickson: Somebody's cooking up a new drug.
Jenko: Wipe? wipey? Wipey?
Capt. Dickson: No, you dumb motherfucker, WiFi
Schmidt: Play on, player.
Capt. Dickson: Why every time you speak I want to throw the fuck up?

Cousin Eddie: I don't know why they call this stuff hamburger helper. It does just fine by itself, huh? I like it better than tuna helper myself, don't you, Clark?
Clark: You're the gourmet around here, Eddie.

Phil: A gust of wind.
[a gust of wind blows]
Phil: A dog barks.
[a dog barks in the distance]
Phil: Cue the truck.
[an armored truck drives up]
Phil: Exit Herman; walk out into the bank.
[Herman gets out of armored truck and walks into the bank]

Actually, my name is Austin Powers. Danger is my middle name.

Austin Powers

"Brothers don't shake. Brothers gotta HUG!!"

Tommy

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