Allison Reynolds: Your middle name is Ralph, as in puke, your birth date's March 12th, you're 5'9 and a half, you weigh 130 pounds and your social security number is 049380913.
Andrew Clark: Wow. Are you psychic?
Allison Reynolds: No.
Brian Johnson: Well, would you mind telling me how you know all this about me?
Allison Reynolds: I stole your wallet.

Store Clerk: Hey, freeze bitch!
Mike Lowrey: [as he points the gun her way, in a flash Mike and Marcus stop arguing and point their guns at his head] YOU freeze, bitch!
Store Clerk: Oh shit, I'm fucked.
Mike Lowrey: Now back up, put the gun down, and get me a pack of Tropical Fruit Bubblicious.
Marcus Burnett: And some Skittles.

Can you put this in a good spot? 'Cause all of this shit happened the last time I parked here.

Axel Foley

Come on, Dover! Come on, Dover! Move your bloomin' arse!

Eliza Doolittle

Dee, when your allergies act up, take out your nose ring.

Cher

Did you know I walked in on him trying to fuck his dog? Peanut butter everywhere.

Elizabeth Halsey

Do you know something about this?... short person.

Chad

Don't blow smoke up my ass, it will ruin my autopsy.

William Parrish

Captain Darrow: Excuse me, general... but what about the fucking money?
General Hummel: There is no fucking money. The mission's over.
Captain Frye: Bull shit it's over.
Major Tom Baxter: You're talking to a General, soldier. Maintain discipline.
Captain Darrow: I'm not a soldier, Major. The day we took hostages, we became... mercenaries. And mercenaries get paid. I want my fucking money.

Jack Ryan: Has he made any Crazy Ivans?
Capt. Bart Mancuso: What difference does that make?
Jack Ryan: Because his next one is going to be to starboard.
Capt. Bart Mancuso: Why? Because his last was to port?
Jack Ryan: No. Because he always goes to starboard in the bottom half of the hour.

Here's the Remains of the Day lunchbox. Kids don't like eating at school, but if they have a Remains of the Day lunchbox they're a lot happier.

Corky St. Clair

Greg Focker: Hey Jack, why don't you tell 'em about your little phone call in Thai.
Dina Byrnes: Jack can't talk Thai.
Greg Focker: Oh no, Dina, Jack can talk Thai. Jack talked Thai real well.

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