Jake: How often does the train go by?
Elwood: So often that you won't even notice it.

Hurry up big boy, I'm naked and I want you at least twice before Jamie gets home.

Jamie's Girlfriend

I know you. You know you. And I know you know that I know you.

White Goodman

[dumping out cold fries] I shall serve no fries before their time.

Brad Hamilton

Stuart: I wanna see breasts. I wanna see Jamie Lee's breasts. When do we see Jamie Lee's breasts?
Randy: Breasts? Not until "Trading Places" in 1983. Jamie Lee was always a virgin in horror movies. She didn't show her tits 'til she went legits.

Col. Jessep: There is nothing on this earth sexier, believe me, gentlemen, than a woman you have to salute in the morning. Promote 'em all, I say, 'cause this is true: if you haven't gotten a blowjob from a superior officer, well, you're just letting the best in life pass you by.

I'm a tall drink of water, I gotta stretch my shit out.

Ricky Slade

May I have ten thousand marbles, please?

Flounder

Eric 'Otter' Stratton: My cucumber. It's bigger. I think vegetables can be very sensuous, don't you?
Marion Wormer: No, vegetables are sensual. People are sensuous.
Eric 'Otter' Stratton: Right. Sensual. That's what I meant. My name's Eric Stratton. People call me Otter.
Marion Wormer: My name's Marion. People call me Mrs. Wormer.
Eric 'Otter' Stratton: Oh, we have a Dean Wormer at Faber.
Marion Wormer: How interesting. I have a husband named Dean Wormer at Faber. Still want to show me your cucumber?

Elle: Oh Warner, do you remember when we spent those four amazing hours in the hot tub together after winter formal?
Warner Huntington III: Uhh, ye... no
Elle: Well this is so much better than that. Excuse me, I have some shopping to do.

Guy Fleegman: Hey guys, there's a red-thingy moving toward the green-thingy.
Jason Nesmith: What?
Guy Fleegman: Red-thingy moving toward the green-thingy. I think we're the green-thingy.

Right now I feel like I could take on the whole Empire myself.

Dak

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