Hannibal Lecter: Now then, tell me. What did Miggs say to you? Multiple Miggs in the next cell. He hissed at you. What did he say?
Clarice Starling: He said, "I can smell your cunt."
Hannibal Lecter: I see. I myself cannot. You use Evian skin cream, and sometimes you wear L'Air du Temps, but not today.

Son, you're about as useful as a poopy-flavored lollipop.

Patches O'Houlihan

[watching "Happy Days" in Italian] That guy doing Potsie is unbelievable.

Danny Ocean

Are we going to stand around here all day or are we going to fight?

Harry Hart

Mr. Ollivander: Curious... very curious...
Harry: Excuse me, sir, but what's curious?
Mr. Ollivander: I remember every wand I've ever sold, Mr. Potter. It just so happens that the phoenix whose tailfeather resides in your wand gave another... just one other. It is curious that you should be destined for this wand... when its brother gave you that scar.
Harry: [puts a hand to his forehead] And who owned that wand?
Mr. Ollivander: We do not speak his name! The wand chooses the wizard, Mr. Potter. It's not always clear why. But I think it is clear that we can expect great things from you. After all, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named did great things. Terrible! Yes. But great.

Jess: Marriages don't break up on account of infidelity. It's just a symptom that something else is wrong.
Harry Burns: Oh really? Well, that "symptom" is fucking my wife.

Inigo Montoya: Who are you?
Westley: No one of consequence.
Inigo Montoya: I must know...
Westley: Get used to disappointment.
Inigo Montoya: 'kay.

Aubrey: We will practice, and I trust you will add your own cardio.
Fat Amy: Yeah, no, don't put me down for cardio.

Casino Dealer: 17.
Number Two: Hit me.
Casino Dealer: You have 17, sir.
Number Two: I like to live dangerously.
Casino Dealer: 21. Very good, sir.
Austin Powers: [has 5] I'll stay.
Casino Dealer: I suggest you hit, sir.
Austin Powers: I also like to live dangerously.
Casino Dealer: 20 beat your 5 sir. I'm sorry, sir.
Austin Powers: Well I must admit, cards aren't my bag, baby.

As Mr. Sloan always says, there is no "I" in team, but there is an "I" in pie. And there's an "I" in meat pie. Anagram of meat is team... I don't know what he was talking about.


It's important to have a job that makes a difference, boys. That's why I manually masturbate caged animals for artificial insemination.

Caged Animal Masturbator

Grandma: Liyah, baby!
Elgin: [stands up]
Grandma: [to Elgin] Sit your ass down! You leave that girl alone. I'm not telling you you can't protect your sister. But if she's making a mistake, you've got to let her make it so she can learn from it. Do you understand?
Elgin: [no response]
Grandma: I asked you a question. Elgin Barret Eugene Smith III! Do you hear me?
Elgin: Yes, ma'am.

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