Aloha, Mr. Hand.

Jeff Spicoli

Keith Frazier: Alright, I've got them right where I want 'em.
Det. Bill Mitchell: Where's that?
Keith Frazier: Right behind me with my pants around my ankles, but it's a start.

And he piled upon the whale's white hump, the sum of all the rage and hate felt by his whole race. If his chest had been a cannon, he would have shot his heart upon it.

Captain Jean-Luc Picard

And most recently of all, a "Roman Toga Party" was held from which we have received more than two dozen reports of individual acts of perversion SO profound and disgusting that decorum prohibits listing them here.

Doug Neidermeyer

Russell Hammond: And you can tell Rolling Stone magazine that my last words were... I'm on drugs!
[crowd cheers]
William Miller: Russell! I think we should work on those last words!
Russell Hammond: I got it, I got it. Last words ... I dig music.
[silence] I'm on drugs!!

[after trying out a bridesmaid dress for the wedding] ... And you know what, Lydia? Just forget about the dress. We can tell everybody that Carmen's Puerto Rican. And it never occurred to you she might be built differently. Or that, unlike you and your daughter, she has an ass that the tailor didn't have enough bolts of material to cover, or better yet, just tell everyone there is no Carmen. Carmen doesn't exist!

Carmen

Are you quitting on me? Well, are you? Then quit, you slimy fucking walrus-looking piece of shit! Get the fuck off of my obstacle! Get the fuck down off of my obstacle! NOW! MOVE IT! Or I'm going to rip your balls off, so you cannot contaminate the rest of the world! I will motivate you, Private Pyle, IF IT SHORT-DICKS EVERY CANNIBAL ON THE CONGO!

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman

Artoo says that the chances of survival are 725 to 1. Actually Artoo has been known to make mistakes... from time to time... Oh dear...

C-3PO

[catches date, points to dead monkey] Bad dates.

Sallah

Rocket Raccoon: Why would you want to save the galaxy?
Peter Quill: Because I'm one of the idiots who live there!

Ursa: You are master of all you survey.
General Zod: [bored] So I was yesterday. And the day before.

Captain Dudley Smith: Bud White is a valuable officer.
Ed Exley: White's a mindless thug.
Captain Dudley Smith: No, Edmund, he's just a man who can answer yes to those questions I've asked you from time to time.

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