Ted Nelson, Customer: But why do they put a guarantee on the box?
Tommy: Because they know all they sold ya was a guaranteed piece of shit. That's all it is, isn't it? Hey, if you want me to take a dump in a box and mark it guaranteed, I will. I got spare time. But for now, for your customer's sake, for your daughter's sake, ya might wanna think about buying a quality product from me.
Ted Nelson, Customer: [pause] Okay, I'll buy from you.
Tommy: Well, that's ...
Richard Hayden: ...What?

[discovering what's inside the package] California, tell your people to stay away. Stay away now, don't... don't come in here. Whatever you hear, stay away! John Doe has the upper hand!

William Somerset

Darth Vader: Calrissian. Take the princess and the Wookie to my ship.
Lando: You said they'd be left at the city under my supervision.
Darth Vader: I am altering the deal. Pray I don't alter it any further.

Can I just spray a little pam down there right before the baby comes out?

Angie Ostrowiski

Rumack: Can you fly this plane, and land it?
Ted Striker: Surely you can't be serious.
Rumack: I am serious... and don't call me Shirley.

Hutch: [Reading Starsky's report on him] "cavorting with nefarious characters". "conduct unbecoming an officer".
Starsky: Come on. I wrote that thing two weeks ago, things are totally cool with us now.
Hutch: Did you go through my locker?
Starsky: No.
Hutch: You went through my locker.
Starsky: I mean, I may have looked through it while it was open but...
Hutch: If you've got a problem with someone you tell it to their face, you come to them as a man. You don't go behind their back, write a thesis and try to get transferred to another precinct.

Tai: Cher, you're a virgin?
Cher: You say that like it's a bad thing.
Dionne: Besides, the PC term is "Hymenally challenged."

Cher's saving herself for Luke Perry.

Dionne

Keith Frazier: C'mon let's go down the street to the bar. I'll buy you a drink
Dalton Russell: Thanks but I'm trying to stay away from bars right now if you know what I mean.

C'mon! You've seen Dog Day Afternoon! You're stalling!

Keith Frazier

Harry Hogge: [after Cole gets spun out by Russ] Cole, you OK?
Cole Trickle: [Giving Harry a dianogsis of the car before coming onto pit road] The good news is the accelerator's fixed. The bad news is the transmission's screwed. I'm coming in!

CQ, this is W9GFO. CQ, this is W9GFO here. Come back?

Young Ellie

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