I know you're partial to convenience stores, but dammit, H.I., the sun don't rise and set on the corner grocery.

Gale

I like the smell of my hair treatment; the pleasing odor is half the point.

Ulysses Everett McGill

I may not do everything great in my life, but I'm good at this. I manage to touch people's lives with what I do and I want to share this with you.

Carl Casper

Mr. Krabs: That pirate's gonna destroy our world!
Squidward Tentacles: Aren't you overreacting a bit?
Mr. Krabs: Welcome to the apocalypse, Mr. Squidward. I hope you like wearing leather.
Squidward Tentacles: I prefer suede.

I tell you what I know. A kid who wears the same gymnastics sweatshirt three days a week isn't getting laid until he's 29. that's what I know.

Elizabeth Halsey

I think what she's trying to say is that you black boys pack too much meat.

Private Cowboy

I tried taking pictures, but they were so mediocre. I guess every girl goes through a photography phase. You know, horses... taking pictures of your feet.

Charlotte

Raoul Duke: I want you to understand that this man at the wheel is my attorney. He's not just some dingbat I found on the strip, man. He's a foreigner. I think he's probably Samoan. But that doesn't matter, though, does it? Are you prejudiced?
Hitchhiker: Hell no.
Raoul Duke: I didn't think so. Because in spite of his race, this man is very valuable to me. Oh, shit. I forgot about the beer. You want one?
Hitchhiker: No.
Raoul Duke: How 'bout some ether?
Hitchhiker: What?
Raoul Duke: Never mind.

Obi-Wan: I will never join you, Dooku.
Count Dooku: It may be difficult to secure your release.

I would rather go to jail than lose my reputation.

Brooke

I wouldn't mind being married to you... would you mind being married to me?

Mr. Big

If I'm being completely honest, he does have these amazing balls that I just love to play with. They're firmer and fuzzier. [looks around] Tennis balls! He's my tennis partner!

Tracy

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