You're in a big puddle of shit, Pamela, and you don't have the shoes for it.

Ward Abbott

You're not a standup guy today, Pat!


Theoden: A great host, you say?
Aragorn: All Isengard is emptied.
Theoden: How many?
Aragorn: Ten thousand strong at least.
Theoden: [astonished] Ten thousand?
Aragorn: It is an army bred for a single purpose, to destroy the world of men. They will be here by nightfall.
Theoden: Let them come.

A maid found herself locked in the bathroom. She was only trapped for a few moments, but when she came out she was blind. She gouged her own eyes out with a pair of scissors.

Gerald Olin

A pizza? Who said you guys could order a pizza?


Ah. Fortune smiles. Another day of wine and roses. Or, in your case, beer and pizza!


Earl Bassett: AHHH! AHHH!
Valentine McKee: What? What is it?
Earl Bassett: Damn prairie dog burrow.
Valentine McKee: Sons a bitches.

All of you! Listen to me! You must listen! Have you forgotten what happened to Dale? Have you forgotten those who died in the firestorm? And for what purpose? The blind ambition of a Mountain King, so riveted by greed he cannot see beyond his own desire!

Bard the Bowman

The Shoveller: All right, I'll take point, you two flank. Let's triangulate.
The Spleen: Equilateral or isosceles?

All your life has been spent in pursuit of archaeological relics. Inside the Ark are treasures beyond your wildest aspirations. You want to see it opened as well as I. Indiana, we are simply passing through history. This, this IS history.


Aloha. My name is Mr. Hand.

Mr. Hand

Kirk Lazarus: Alpa and I are already wearin' Earth Mamma's natural night camo.
Alpa Chino: Cool it, Benson!

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