All of you! Listen to me! You must listen! Have you forgotten what happened to Dale? Have you forgotten those who died in the firestorm? And for what purpose? The blind ambition of a Mountain King, so riveted by greed he cannot see beyond his own desire!

Bard the Bowman

Alright, all secondary characters, come with me.


Alright listen up, we need to open our eyes. There's over two million illegal immigrants bending down in this state tonight. This state spent three billion dollars last year on services, on people who had no right to be here in the first place. Three billion dollars. 400 million just to lock up a bunch of illegal immigrant criminals who only got in this country because the fucking INS decided it's not worth the effort to screen for convicted felons.

Derek Vinyard

And in the spring, 2003, he looked at me. And I knew, that he knew, who I was. And then he closed his eyes, as if to go to sleep.


And most recently of all, a "Roman Toga Party" was held from which we have received more than two dozen reports of individual acts of perversion SO profound and disgusting that decorum prohibits listing them here.

Doug Neidermeyer

Roxanne Chase-Feder: [an old woman approaches them] And this must be your mother.
Rob Hilliard: My wife.
Roxanne Chase-Feder: I'm sorry!
Rob Hilliard: I'm not.
[kisses his wife]
Marcus Higgins: [onlooking] Oh, grody.

Elle: And wouldn't somebody who had, say, 30 perms before in their life be well aware of this rule, and if in fact you weren't washing your hair as I suspect you weren't because your curls are still intact, wouldn't you have heard the gunshot, and if in fact you had heard the gunshot Brooke Windham wouldn't have had time to hide the gun before you got downstairs. Which means you would have had to found Brooke Windham with a gun in her hand to make your story plausible, isn't that right?
Chutney Windham: She's my age! Did she tell you that? How would you feel if your father married someone who was your age?
Elle: You, however, Chutney had time to hide the gun after you shot your father.
Chutney Windham: [in tears] I didn't mean to shoot him!

Anonimity... is like a warm blanket.


Mayor Vaughn: Any special questions?
Denherder: Uh, is that $3000 bounty on the shark in cash or check?
Mrs. Taft: I don't think that's funny. I don't think that's funny at all, I'm sorry.

Anywhere you go, all around the world, all the best cooks are men.

Lefty Ruggiero

[on the phone while all the clocks chime at once]
Dr. Emmett Brown: Are those my clocks I hear?
Marty McFly: Yeah! Uh, it's 8 o'clock!
Dr. Emmett Brown: Perfect! My experiment worked! They're all exactly 25 minutes slow.
Marty McFly: Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Doc... Are you telling me that it's 8:25?
Dr. Emmett Brown: Precisely.
Marty McFly: Damn! I'm late for school!
[hangs up, grabs his skateboard and rushes out]

Ron Burgundy: You're not black or Asian.
GNN Reporter: I'm gay.
Champ Kind: Do you sleep in a coffin?
GNN Reporter: No, that’s vampires.
Brian Fantana: Are you allowed to be out in the sun?
GNN Reporter: Those are also vampires.
Brick Tamland: Are you a vampire?

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