Coach Boone: Petey, how many feet are in a mile? How many feet are in a mile?
Petey Jones: [mumbles incoherently]
Coach Boone: 5,280 feet! You pick this ball up and run every one of 'em! You're killing me, Petey! You're killing me!

J.D.: [bringing a box of videos to Judith] Hey, I brought you some more videos. You've got your choice: porno's or monster trucks. Oh, and I got one that's both.

Said Simple Simon to the pieman going to the fair, "Give me your pies... or I'll cave your head in."


Wayne Campbell: She's a babe.
Garth Algar: She's magically babelicious.
Wayne Campbell: She tested very high on the stroke-ability scale.

[talking to his arms] Listen. Listen... to me now. Listen... to ME now!

Dr. Otto Octavius

Billy Mack: I realized that Christmas is... is the time to be with the people you love.
Joe: Right.
Billy Mack: And I realized that, as dire chance and... and... and fateful cockup would have it, here I am, mid-50s, and without knowing it I've gone and spent most of my adult life with a... with a chubby employee. And... and much as it grieves me to say it, it... it might be that the people I love is, in fact... you.
Joe: Well, this is a surprise.
Billy Mack: Yeah.
Joe: Ten minutes at Elton John's, you're as gay as a maypole!

The key to a happy life is to accept you are never actually in control.


This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You take the blue pill - the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill - you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes.


'Ronald Reagan' Video Waiter: Welcome to the Cafe 80's, where it's always morning in America, even in the afternoon. Our special today is mesquite-grilled sushi...
'Ayatollah Khomeini' Video Waiter: [interrupts] You must have the hostage special!
Marty McFly: Hey, hey, hey, hey, guys, hey, hey! All I want is a Pepsi.

Everybody thinks they have good taste and a sense of humor but they couldn't possibly all have good taste.


I always tell the girls, never take it seriously, if ya never take it seriosuly, ya never get hurt, ya never get hurt, ya always have fun, and if you ever get lonely, just go to the record store and visit your friends.

Penny Lane

I believe virtually everything I read, and I think that is what makes me more of a selective human than someone who doesn't believe anything.

David St. Hubbins

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