Aunt Edna: I was afraid you'd get pulled over, Clark. You've been exeeding the speed limit for thousands of miles!
Rusty Griswold: Dad wasn't speeding. The cop stopped us because Dad forgot to...
Ellen Griswold: He was speeding, Rusty!
Rusty Griswold: No he wasn't, Mom. He...
Clark: Rusty! Listen to your mother. I was speeding. I was driving like a maniac. We can all be grateful for this man for stopping us. You see kids...
Motorcycle Cop: Here's the leash, sir. I'm going back to get the rest of the carcass off the road.

Reed Rothchild: Hey, are those lizard?
Dirk: No, they're Italian. I'm gonna fuckin' buy these.

Hey, we've all wanted to do that to Vice Principal Simms. I know I have. But a line has been crossed. You can't eat the teachers, man!

Wade

Houston, you have a problem. You see, I promised my little girl that I was coming home. Now I don't know WHAT you people are doing down there, but we've got a hole to dig up here!

Harry Stamper

I am a traveler in both time and space, to be where I have been.

Linus

Puss in Boots: I am not looking for trouble. I am but a humble gato in search of his next meal. Perhaps you gentlemen can help me find a simple score.
Bartender: Well, perhaps if one of us were to tell the law that you were in town, we could split the reward. (Another man tries to sneak up on Puss with a sword, and fails)
Puss in Boots: You made the cat angry - you no want to make the cat angry!

I am offering you a chance to do the right thing. Take it.

Robert McCall

Graham Hess: I cursed.
Merrill: I heard.

Buzzie: So what we gonna do?
Flaps: I don't know. Hey, now don't start *that* again!

I don't want FOP Damn it, I'm a Dapper Dan Man!

Ulysses Everett McGill

I don't want to be a good man... I want to be a great one.

Oz

[singing] I feel pretty, oh so pretty! I feel pretty, and witty, and gay!

Maria

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