King Henry VIII: And who are you?
Mary Boleyn: Mary, your grace.
King Henry VIII: The other Boleyn girl?
Mary Boleyn: Yes.

Judge: You think you can help him?
Dr. Buddy Rydell: Yep. And if I can't, I'll tear him apart with my bare hands.

Chip Douglas: Call it one guy doing another guy a solid.
Steven Kovacs: That is so nice!
Chip Douglas: Well you're a nice guy! You'd be surprised how many customers treat me like snot, like I'm a goddamn plumber or somethin'.

I sing about what I see.

Billy Quinn

Ryan: It doesn't make any sense, I give you the video, then you turn around and take us out.
Greer: I swore I wouldn't do that.
Ryan: Just like you swore "to protect and serve"?

Bruce: Who are you?
God: I'm the one. The Divine Being. Alpha and Omega.
Bruce: Oh, I see where this is going...
God: Bruce... I'm God.
Bruce: Bingo! Yahtzee! Is that your final answer? Our survey says... God! Bing bing bing bing bing! Well God, nice job on the Grand Canyon, and good luck with the Apocalypse. Oh, and by the way: you *SUCK*!

This is my one chance at happiness. I have to be ruthless!

Julianne Potter

Daphne Wilder: I say marriage, you say...
Transvestite: Vera Wang.

Jan: They don't go, we win; once again, we're the best.
Torrance Shipman: I define being the best as competing against the best there is out there and beating them. They have to go.

Gordon, when you tell this story to your grandkids, you be sure to leave this part out.

Capt. James West

I wasn't strong enough to save you mum. I wasn't strong enough, but I promise I won't fail again.

Anakin

You Limeys can be pretty touchy about trespassing.

Felix Leiter

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