Now isn't this better than sitting at a table? A girl hasn't got but two sides to her at the table.


Parker: Uh, before we dock, I think we oughta discuss the bonus situation.
Brett: Right.
Parker: Brett and I, we think we oughta - we deserve full shares, right baby?
Brett: Right. You see, Mr. Parker and I feel that the bonus situation has never been on a-an equitable level.
Dallas: Well, you get what you're contracted for like everybody else.
Brett: Yes, but everybody else, uh, gets more than us.

Jack: How'd you like to come for a ride with me sometime?
Bertha: I know who you are.
Jack: Oh yeah, who's that?
Bertha: One of them Bondurant boys, my daddy says you boys are the worst thing ever to hit Franklin.
Jack: Tell your daddy I said hi.

Lady at Ball: That young woman with Colonel Pickering, find out who she is.
Zoltan Karpathy: With pleasure!

Kumar: Hey, are the cops still here?
[cops left moments earlier to check out a shooting in Millbrook Park]
Harold: What the hell are you doing?
Kumar: I just called and made up some story about a shooting in Millbrook Park.
Harold: Jesus Christ! What'd you do that for?
Kumar: I'm fucking starving! I figured I'd bust you out and we'd go get some burgers.

Excellent wedding hairstyle.


Rambo: Have you seen the new Rambo movie?
Paris Hilton: Have you seen a shower?

This house is clean.


Stand by for justice!

Curt Henderson

My name is Robert. And my wife, Barbara and I are here to support our daughter Caroline. And we're here to listen.

Robert Wakefield

Look, Kenny, I know you're about fifty pounds overweight, but when I say hurry, please interpret that as MOVE YOUR FAT TUB OF LARD ASS NOW!


Trip McNeely: Speaking of which, you still with that Amanda chick? She was a prize piece if I ever saw one.
Mike Dexter: [lying] Yeah, me and Amanda. Definitely. Yep.
Trip McNeely: You're lucky, bro.
Mike Dexter: I sure am.
Trip McNeely: Stay with her. It's the best advice I can give you... Oh, that, and bring rubber flip-flops in the shower. I got warts all over my feet.

FREE Movie Newsletter