Record Company Executive: [talking about the Opry] He's been banned for smashing out the footlights. If he smashes out lights at Folsom, they're gonna keep him there.
Johnny Cash: [Laughs]

Gentlemen, your work today has been outstanding and I intend to recommend you all for promotion... in whatever fleet we end up serving.

Kirk

Rita: Where is your father?
Willy Harrison: Where do you think?

You sound like an asshole! Jesus, nobody twisted your arm to be here. You're here of your own volition. You like to think the weight of the world rests on your shoulder. Like this place would fall apart if Dante wasn't here. Jesus, you overcompensate for having what's basically a monkey's job. You push fucking buttons. Anybody can just waltz in here and do our jobs. You-You're so obsessed with making it seem so much more epic, so much more important than it really is. Christ, you work in a convenience store, Dante! And badly, I might add! I work in a shitty video store, badly as well. You know, that guy Jay's got it right, man. He has no delusions about what he does. Us, we like to make ourselves seem so much more important than the people that come in here to buy a paper, or, god forbid, cigarettes. We look down on them as if we're so advanced. Well, if we're so fucking advanced, what are we doing working here?

Randal Graves

Han Solo: Yeah, but this time I've *got* the money.
Greedo: If you give it to me, I might forget I found you.
Han Solo: I don't have it *with* me. Tell Jabba...
Greedo: Jabba's through with you. He has no use for smugglers who drop their shipments at the first sign of an Imperial cruiser.
Han Solo: Even *I* get boarded *sometimes.* Do you think I had a choice?
Greedo: You can tell that to Jabba. He may only take your ship.
Han Solo: Over my dead body!

Hey you don't need a manikin!

Dracula

God, I thought I was in Israel. I don't know why. Certainly not the decor, was it? Must have been dreaming. I was there for about a year on a kibbutz. I was feeling very romantic about that kind of socialism at the time. I thought I'd like to have a bash at it.

Opal

Storm: I love what you've done with your hair!
Beast: You too.

Leon Kodak: Well, you don't see that every day of the week.
Lewis Rothschild: He's got the whole White House press corps asking each other how to spell erudite!
A.J.: Better call the printer, Lewis.
Lewis Rothschild: I know, we gotta rewrite the State of the Union.
A.J.: Every word, kid. It's a whole new ballgame. You have exactly 35 minutes.
Lewis Rothschild: Oh, good, I thought I was gonna be rushed!

Fuck Randy, Fuck Randy, and his high score! That's my own brother and I say Fuck Him!

Troy

Walter: There's only one guy in this world who can save us! There's only one frog who can restore order, bring justice, and set things right!
Fozzie Bear: You are talking about Kermit, right?

You said you could save him, but what kind of a life will he have?

Clara Murphy

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