Leon, somewhere in Libya right now, a janitor's working the night shift at Libyan Intelligence headquarters. He's going about doing his job... because he has no idea, in about an hour he's going to die in a massive explosion. He's just going about his job, because he has no idea that about an hour ago I gave an order to have him killed. You've just seen me do the least presidential thing I do.

President Andrew Shepherd

I did inhale because I thought 'What the hell, it's lit, it's in my hand, I'll inhale it.'

Tom Dobbs

Rita: I like to see a man of advancing years throwing caution to the wind. It's inspiring in a way.
Phil: My years are not advancing as fast as you might think.

Andrew: Why do you have to insult everybody?
John Bender: I'm being honest, asshole.

Can't you stop saying fuck all the time?

Elvira

This'll shoot the fleas off a dog's back at five hundred yards, Tannen, and it's pointed straight at your head!

Doc

I detect, like me, you're endowed with the gift of gab.

Ulysses Everett McGill

Vicki Vale: I've just got to know. Are we gonna try and love each other?
Bruce Wayne: I'd like to. But he's out there right now. And I've got to go to work.

Jason Bourne: Who am I?
Conklin: You're U.S. Government property. You're a malfunctioning $30 million weapon. You're a total goddamn catastrophe, and by God, if it kills me, you're going to tell me how this happened.

Randal Graves: Why haven't you fucked Myra yet?
Elias: Well we can't because of Pillow Pants.
Randal Graves: What the fuck's Pillow Pants?
Elias: Pillow Pants is a little troll that lives in her pussy.

Shrek and I drank this potion and now... we're sexy!

Donkey

Sarah: No more lies. No more secrets.
Alfred Borden: Secrets are my life.

FREE Movie Newsletter