Doyle Lonnegan: Your boss is quite a card player, Mr. Kelly; how does he do it?
Johnny Hooker: He cheats.

Everybody loves me, and I intend to keep it that way.

Kathryn

Count Rugen: As you know, the concept of the suction pump is centuries old. Really that's all this is except that instead of sucking water, I'm sucking life. I've just sucked one year of your life away. I might one day go as high as five, but I really don't know what that would do to you. So, let's just start with what we have. What did this do to you? Tell me. And remember, this is for posterity so... be honest. How do you feel?
Westley: [moans in pain]
Count Rugen: Interesting...

I know I'm just a white-trash grunt, but I can count. Fuck fucking with a hundred strong!

Reese

Paul Edgecomb: We all know who your connections are Percy. You ever threaten a man on this block again we're all gonna have a go. The job be damned.
Percy Wetmore: You done?
Paul Edgecomb: Get all this shit back in the restraining room, you are cluttering up my mile.

Charlie: Once upon a time there were three very different little girls who grew up to be three very different women with three things in common: they're brilliant, they're beautiful, and they work for me. My name is Charlie.

Mathematics is the only true universal language.

Ellie Arroway

Austin: All I said was: "I'm pretending to whisper a big secret in your ear so that Jake here thinks I'm telling you a secret, which will cause him to break into a hysterical confession where he actually reveals a big secret. Thus confirming everything I just whispered in your ear."

French journalist: Inspector, do you know if the killer was a man or woman?
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Well of course I know that! What else is there? A kitten?

Captain Steven Hiller: Was that an earthquake?
Jasmine Dubrow: Not even a four pointer. Go back to sleep.

Watto: How are you going to pay for all this?
Qui-Gon Jinn: I have 20,000 Republic dataries.
Watto: Republic credits? Republic credits are no good out here. I need something more real.
Qui-Gon Jinn: I don't have anything else [waves hand] but credits will do fine.
Watto: No, they won't.
Qui-Gon Jinn: [waves hand again] Credits will do fine.
Watto: No, they won't-a. What? You think you're some kind of Jedi, waving your hand around like that? I'm a Toydarian, mind tricks don't work on me. Only money. No money, no parts, no deal!

Old Biff: Tough break, kid. Must be rough bein' named after a complete butthead.
Marty McFly: What's that supposed to mean?

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