Pierce Patchett: I use girls that look like movie stars. Sometimes I employ a plastic surgeon. When the work had been done, that's when you saw us.
Bud White: That's why her mother couldn't I.D. her. Jesus fucking Christ.
Pierce Patchett: No, Mr. White. Pierce Morehouse Patchett.

It's time to pump up the jam!


I'm the first man in the door and the last man to leave.

Mike Lowery

[narrating] No matter where he is, I thought you should know what kind of man your father really was.

Eddie Scrap-Iron Dupris

Woody: [in Bonnie's room; she is playing with her toys and Woody]
[voice box]
Woody: There's a snake in my boot!
[Bonnie pulls his string again]
Woody: I'd like to join your posse, boys, but first I'm gonna sing a little song.
Bonnie: A sheriff!
[she sets Woody down at a table surrounded by stuffed animals]
Bonnie: Move over, Mr. Pricklepants!
[she pushes him aside]
Bonnie: We have a guest!
[she hops from foot to foot]
Bonnie: You want some coffee?
[she sets out cups and pretends to pour from a pitcher]
Bonnie: It's good for you, but don't drink too much or you'll have to - Be right back!
[she runs out the door]
Woody: [Woody looks around, the other toys are still frozen] Pssst! Hey! Hello! Can you tell me where I am?
Mr. Pricklepants: Shh!
[he freezes again]
Buttercup: The guy's just asking a question.
Mr. Pricklepants: Well, excuse me! I am trying to stay in character!
Buttercup: [to Woody] My name's Buttercup.
Mr. Pricklepants: [at Buttercup] Shh!
Trixie: I'm Trixie!
Mr. Pricklepants: [at Trixie] Shhh!
Trixie: [back at him] Shhh!
Woody: [waves his arms] Guys, hey! Look, I don't know where I am...
Trixie: We're either in a cafe in Paris or a coffee shop in New Jersey.
Buttercup: We do a lot of improv here. Just stay loose, have fun, and you'll be fine!

Everything has a weakness.


Stephen Myers: Were gonna be fine. We have to do it, it's the right thing to do and nothing bad happens when you're doing the right thing.
Governor Morris: Is this your personal theory? 'Cause I can shoot holes in it.
Stephen Myers: Well there's exceptions to every rule...

Two weeks, in fuckin Bruge. With you? No way.


Stay dad!

Young Murph

Cher: Been shopping with Dr. Suess?
Dionne: Well at least I wouldn't skin a collie to make my back pack.
Cher: It's faux.

Chick: I've never told anyone this before, but I hate flying. So it would be an awful shame to die now.
Rockhound: You think that's bad? I owe 100 grand to a fat-ass loan shark which I spent on a stripper named Molly Mounds.
Chick: Boy, that's bad.

Judge Stevens: Mr. Reede, do we have a setlement?
Fletcher: Noooo!

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