Alice: What's your work?
Dan: I'm sort of... journalist.
Alice: What sort?
Dan: I write obituaries.

[after crashing into a car dealership] The new Oldsmobiles are in early this year!

Elwood

You should be reading stories about bears that go shopping!

Detective John Kimble

It's ok. I just hit my face!

Dudley Frank

Del Fuegos! Hide the bikes! Quick!

Woody Stevens

Never attack a drunk guy with a gun.

Principal Gardner

[narrating] No matter where he is, I thought you should know what kind of man your father really was.

Eddie Scrap-Iron Dupris

Jack Ryan: There's no beer in the fridge.
Nancy Hayes: Look in the cabinet.
Jack Ryan: In the cabinet? What are you, British?

I must be the one to kill Harry Potter!

Lord Voldemort

Oh honey. If that's what you call an invitation, you'll be dancing with yourself.

Taylor McKessie

If I were thinking clearly, Leonard, I would tell you that I wrestle alone in the dark, in the deep dark, and that only I can know. Only I can understand my condition. You live with the threat, you tell me you live with the threat of my extinction. Leonard, I live with it too.

Virginia Woolf

I'm scared.

Chappie

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