Dirk: Look, man, all we need is the tapes, all right?
Record Producer: No, you don't get the tapes until you've paid.
Dirk: In our situation, that doesn't make any fucking sense.
Reed Rothchild: Look, we can not pay for the tapes, unless we take the tapes to the record company, and get paid.
Dirk: Hello? Exactly.

Carter: You don't know nothing about no War.
Lee: Everybody knows War.
[singing]
Lee: War! Huh! Yeah! What is it good for? Absolutely nothing, sing it again, you all!
Carter: It ain't 'you all', it's "y'all"!
Lee: Yaw.
Carter: Y'all!
Lee: Yaw!
Carter: Man you sound like a Karate movie, y'all!
Lee: Yoll.

[to President Ashton] You can't give the order. You've been shot!

Ted Heinkin

Dr. Buddy Rydell: Alright, I'm going to need for you to retard your anger level a few notches and listen to me, can you do that?
Dave Buznik: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah... it's retarded, I'm retarded.

Paulette, I taught Bruiser to shop online, I think I can handle Congress.

Elle

Jonah Baldwin: If you get a new wife, I guess you'll get to have sex with her, huh?
Sam Baldwin: I certainly hope so.
Jonah Baldwin: Will she scratch up your back?
Sam Baldwin: [shocked] What?
Jonah Baldwin: In the movies, women are always scratching up the men's back and screaming and stuff when they're having sex.
Sam Baldwin: How do you know all this?
Jonah Baldwin: Jed's got cable.
Sam Baldwin: Oh.

Sally: You're LATE!
Mr. Furious: 'Morning, Sally. I'm sorry I was late; I was up all night defending the city from evil, but I'm sure you don't care about that.
Sally: Work starts at NINE! It's *nine-twenty five*!

Brian's mom: Now is this the first time or the last time we do this?
Brian Johnson: Last.
Brian's mom: Good. Now use the time to your advantage.
Brian Johnson: Mom, we're not supposed to study, we just have to sit there and do nothing.
Brian's mom: Well mister, you better figure out a way to study.
Brian's sister: Yeah.

Viola De Lesseps: I loved a writer and gave up the prize for a sonnet.
William Shakespeare: I was the more deceived.
Viola De Lesseps: Yes, you were deceived, for I did not know how much I loved you.

If I remember correctly, you didn't like the sporting good store. Working for the investment firm wasn't for you either, or the oil rig job

George Herbert Walker Bush

I love French wine, like I the French language. I have sampled every language, French is my favorite. Fantastic language. Especially to curse with. Nom de dieu de putain de bordel de merde de saloperie de connard d'enculé de ta mère. It's like wiping your arse with silk. I love it.

Merovingian

Frank: A little housewarming gift.
Mitch: I actually gave this to you for your wedding.
Frank: This model?
Mitch: That exact one.

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