Jack Byrnes: Greg's in medicine too.
Bob Banks: What field?
Greg Focker: Nursing.
Bob Banks: Ha ha ha ha. No, really, what field are you in?
Greg Focker: Nursing.

Nash: [to Charles] The prodigal roommate revealed. "Saw my name on the lecture slate." YOU LYING SON OF A BITCH!
Dr. Rosen: Who are you talking to? Tell me who you see.
Nash: How do you say "Charles Herman" in Russian?

Lydia Harris: The burgundy carpet is out of stock: it's going to take 12 weeks. Did you like any of the other colors?
Bob: Whatever you like ... I'm just completely lost.
Lydia Harris: It's just carpet.
Bob: That's not what I'm talking about.
Lydia Harris: What are you talking about?
Bob: I don't know. I just want to... get healthy. I would like to start taking better care of myself. I'd like to start eating healthier ... I don't want all that pasta. I would like to start eating, like, Japanese food.
Lydia Harris: Well, why don't you just stay there and you can have it every day?
Bob: [biting his tongue] How are the kids doing?

Maggie: You coming back through?
Dudley Frank: Maybe. A biker never knows. A week, a month.
[pauses]
Dudley Frank: Six days, ten hours, 27 minutes, give or take six minutes for wind resistance.

You guys gotta get me out of here! There's this guy Nasty Nate who wants my cocktail fruit, and everyone here likes fresh fish! Then The Squirrel Master came out of left field and told me I'm his bitch!

Kenny

Henry 'Razor' Sharp: [to the Kid] Gutsy move, going without a bra!
Billy 'The Kid' McDonnen: [to Razor] Yeah? I got a surprise for you

Oh that's rich! I've got a cowboy on one side and an Indian on the other! It's like the wild west!

Steve "Fink" Finklestein

Let me see; red hair, vacant expressions, tatty second-hand books, you must be the Weasleys.

Lucius Malfoy

Kyle: You cant die! We don't know where we are!
The Mole: You must go on...
Kyle: No, we have no fucking clue where we are!

Lewis Rothschild: You have a deeper love of this country than any man I've ever known. And I want to know what it says to you that in the past seven weeks, 59% of Americans have begun to question your patriotism.
President Andrew Shepherd: Look, if the people want to listen to-...
Lewis Rothschild: They don't have a choice! Bob Rumson is the only one doing the talking! People want leadership, Mr. President, and in the absence of genuine leadership, they'll listen to anyone who steps up to the microphone. They want leadership. They're so thirsty for it they'll crawl through the desert toward a mirage, and when they discover there's no water, they'll drink the sand.

Chris Kyle: I’m not a redneck. I’m from Texas.
Taya Renae Kyle: What’s the difference?
Chris Kyle: We ride horses and they ride their cousins.

King Arthur: One, two, five!
Sir Galahad: Three sir!
King Arthur: Three!

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