I don't think I am going to say, "What the fuck" anymore.

Joel Goodson

Jason Nesmith: What? What was that?
Alexander Dane: Uh, nothing.
Jason Nesmith: I heard some squealing or something.
Gwen DeMarco: Oh, no. Everything's fine.
Teb: But the animal is inside out.
Jason Nesmith: I heard that! It turned inside out?
Teb: And it exploded.
Jason Nesmith: Did I just hear that the animal turned inside out, and then is EXPLODED?

Karen Holmes: Don't try to be gallant, Sergeant. If you think this is a mistake, come right out and say so... Well, I guess it's about time for me to be heading home, isn't it?... Well, isn't it?
Sergeant Milton Warden: What's the matter? What started all this, anyway? You think I'd be here if I thought it was a mistake? Taking a chance on 20 years in Leavenworth for making dates with the company commander's wife? And her acting like - like Lady Astor's horse, and all because I got here on time!
Karen Holmes: Well, on the other hand, I've got a bathing suit under my dress...
Sergeant Milton Warden: Me too!

Dan: That's some song you got there. I promise you it could be a big hit. Plus you're beautiful.
Gretta: I'm sorry, what's beauty got to do with anything?
Dan: Jesus, you're tricky, aren't you?

Lelaina: I just don't understand why things just can't go back to normal at the end of the half hour like on the Brady Bunch or something.
Troy Dyer: Well, 'cause Mr. Brady died of AIDS. Things don't turn out like that.

Well, hello there, Mr. Neff.

Building attendant

Sherman Schrader: Right, you date Monica Morlan
Hoyt Ambrose: That I do
Sherman Schrader: Right, I think of her while I masturb...

Farva: MacAttack, wanna go punch for punch?
[Mac punches Farva in the stomach]
Farva: Oooh good one, I did not specify. Never shit a shitter.
[Ursula walks by]
Farva: Lady in blue comin' through.

Sybil Stone: He's gonna ask me for that ring...
Susannah Stone: Mom, *enough* about the ring.

Miss Ritter: Peter, don't make promises you can't keep.
Peter Parker: But those are the best kind.

I have something called Osteogenesis Imperfecta. It's a genetic disorder. I don't make a particular protein very well and it makes my bones very low in density... very easy to break.

Elijah Price

Lady, I will break my foot off in your ass!

Hancock

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