Victor Von Doom: It's time to end this.
Ben Grimm: No, Vic. It's clobbering time.
King of Swamp Castle: Listen, Alice...
Prince Herbert: Herbert.
King of Swamp Castle: Herbert...
Otto: Don't call me stupid.
Wendy: Why on earth not?
Earl McGraw: Well, this is definitely the work of professionals. I'd guess-timate Mexican Mafia hit squad. Four, maybe five strong.
Edgar McGraw: How can you tell?
Earl McGraw: Well a sure and steady hand did this. This ain't no squirrelly amateur. This is the work of a salty dog. You can tell by the cleanliness of the carnage. Now a kill-crazy rampage though it may be, all the colors are kept within the lines. If you was a moron, you could almost admire it.
Morpheus: You saw the Oracle? What did she tell you?
Niobe: Same thing she always does: exactly what I needed to hear.
Sally Albright: I don't have to take this crap from you.
Harry Burns: If you're so over Joe, why aren't you seeing anyone?
Beaumont: What's goin' on?
Seaman Jones: Russian captains sometime turn suddenly to see if anyone's behind them. We call it "Crazy Ivan." The only thing you can do is go dead. Shut everything down and make like a hole in the water.
Beaumont: So what's the catch?
Seaman Jones: The catch is, a boat this big doesn't exactly stop on a dime... and if we're too close, we'll drift right into the back of him.
Happy Gilmore: Looks like a slight hill. Whaddya think?
Otto: And a slant to the left.
Happy Gilmore: Nah, it looks that way cause you've only got one shoe on.
Max Reede: If I keep making this face... will it get stuck that way?
Fletcher: Uh uh. As a matter of fact, some people make a very good living that way.
Ishmael: You been drinking, Mr. Munson?
Roy: I don't puke when I drink. I puke when I don't.
Veruca Salt: I wanted to be the first to find a Golden Ticket, Daddy!
Mr. Salt: I know, angel. We're doing the best we can. I've got every girl in the place to start hunting for you.
Veruca Salt: All right, where is it? Why haven't they found it?
Mr. Salt: Veruca, sweetheart, I'm not a magician! Give me time!
Veruca Salt: I want it now! What's the matter with those twerps down there?
Mr. Salt: For five days now, the entire flipping factory's been on the job. They haven't shelled a peanut in there since Monday. They've been shelling flaming chocolate bars from dawn till dusk!
Veruca Salt: Make them work nights!
Jane Smith: My parents died when I was five. I'm an orphan.
John Smith: Who was that kind fellow who gave you away at our wedding?
Jane Smith: Paid actor.
John Smith: I said, I said I saw your dad on "Fantasy Island"!