Lars Lindstrom: I was hoping winter was over.
Margo: No, it's just a thaw - winter isn't over till Easter.

Tod: Has anyone seen my wife?
Helen: She's still at school. She has cheerleading practice.

Gee, I wish we had one of them doomsday machines.

General "Buck" Turgidson

Truth is for suckers, Johnny Boy.

Charlie

George Nelson: Cows! I hate cows worse than coppers!
Delmar O'Donnell: Oh, George... not the livestock.

And... what about seat belts? To fasten, take the little end and stick it in the big end and... you know what? If you guys don't know how to use a seatbelt, just ring your call button and Tommy will come back there and hit you on the head with a tack hammer because you're a *retard*.

Richard Hayden

Chase Collins: Say it! "I"
Caleb Danvers: I
Chase Collins: "will"
Caleb Danvers: will
Chase Collins: "you-"
Caleb Danvers: you... nothing.

I'm in.

MacGruber
  • Permalink: I'm in.
  • Rating: Unrated

Crash Davis: Last chance. Your place or mine?
Annie Savoy: Despite my rejection of most Judeo-Christian ethics, I am, within the framework of the baseball season, monogamous.

Roger Thornhill: Now, what can a man do with his clothes off for twenty minutes? Couldn't he have taken an hour?
Eve Kendall: You could always take a cold shower.

[in his therapist's fantasy] I've come five hundred miles to deliver my seed.

Brennan Huff

Do you want to win the War on Terror? Yes or no?

Senator Jasper Irving

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