Gee, I'm glad you turned up, we've been looking inside every cake in town.Cosmo Brown
[punches out alien] Welcome to earth.Captain Steven Hiller
Tommy Corn: [after being hit in the face with a rubber ball] Awesome! Can we do the ball thing everyday?
Caterine Vauban: Don't call it the ball thing. Call it pure being.
Tommy Corn: Okay... so can we do the pure being ball thing everyday?
Travis: I joined this program and there's steps. There's... uh...
Travis: Yeah, how'd you know?
Cher: Wild guess.
Larry Buckman: Is that Grandma?
Frank: Yeah, she's still alive.
Larry Buckman: Jeez Grandma, you got short.
Grandma: I'm shrinking!
Larry Buckman: Bummer!
Erica Barry: Wait. You're leaving, Zoe's leaving, the entourage is leaving. You mean I'm going to be alone in this house... with HIM?
Marin: Well, the hospital's sending over a nurse first thing in the morning.
Erica Barry: In the morning? That's like 19 hours from now!
Unlimited technology from the whole universe, and we cruise 'round in a Ford P.O.S.Jay
Esteban Vihaio: [after telling the Bride where Bill is] Bill is like a son to me. You know why I help you?
The Bride: No.
Esteban Vihaio: He would want me to.
The Bride: Now that I don't believe.
Esteban Vihaio: How else is he going to see you again?
Capt. Ramsey: I have the con. Gimme the missile key.
[Hunter does nothing, Ramsey punches him in the face]
Capt. Ramsey: Gimme the missile key Mr. Hunter!
[Ramsey punches Hunter in the face again]
Capt. Ramsey: I am the commander of this ship! Gimme the goddamn key!
Woody: [in Bonnie's room; she is playing with her toys and Woody]
Woody: There's a snake in my boot!
[Bonnie pulls his string again]
Woody: I'd like to join your posse, boys, but first I'm gonna sing a little song.
Bonnie: A sheriff!
[she sets Woody down at a table surrounded by stuffed animals]
Bonnie: Move over, Mr. Pricklepants!
[she pushes him aside]
Bonnie: We have a guest!
[she hops from foot to foot]
Bonnie: You want some coffee?
[she sets out cups and pretends to pour from a pitcher]
Bonnie: It's good for you, but don't drink too much or you'll have to - Be right back!
[she runs out the door]
Woody: [Woody looks around, the other toys are still frozen] Pssst! Hey! Hello! Can you tell me where I am?
Mr. Pricklepants: Shh!
[he freezes again]
Buttercup: The guy's just asking a question.
Mr. Pricklepants: Well, excuse me! I am trying to stay in character!
Buttercup: [to Woody] My name's Buttercup.
Mr. Pricklepants: [at Buttercup] Shh!
Trixie: I'm Trixie!
Mr. Pricklepants: [at Trixie] Shhh!
Trixie: [back at him] Shhh!
Woody: [waves his arms] Guys, hey! Look, I don't know where I am...
Trixie: We're either in a cafe in Paris or a coffee shop in New Jersey.
Buttercup: We do a lot of improv here. Just stay loose, have fun, and you'll be fine!
David Skylark: Kim must die! That’s the American way.
Sook: How many times can the US make the same mistake?
David Skylark: As many times as it takes!