[Borden is explaining how he used a double in his act]
Alfred Borden: What I didn't count on was that, when I incorporated this bloke into my act, he had complete power over me.
Gerald Root: Complete power, you say?

[to reporters] Yes! There is violence in Chicago. But not by me, and not by anybody who works for me, and I'll tell you why because it's bad for business.

Capone

Coop: I want you inside me.
Katie: What did you say?
Coop: Oh hey... from before...

Buddy: Well, if you're Santa, what song did I sing for you on your birthday this year?
Gimbel's Santa: Um, Happy Birthday of course. Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho. How old are you son?
Kid with Santa: Four.
Gimbel's Santa: You're a big boy. What's your name?
Kid with Santa: Paul.
Gimbel's Santa: Now what can I get you for Christmas?
Buddy: Don't tell him what you want, he's a liar.

[to the other three] I'm just swimming here with my gay friends.

Woody Stevens

Aguado: Homicide, Ventura. Now how ya gonna solve that one?
Ace Ventura: Good question, Aguado. First, I'd establish a motive. In this case the killer saw the size of the bug's DICK and became insanely jealous. Then I'd lose 30 pounds... PORKIN' his wife.

Max: What was he like?
Bailey: As a boxer? Charlie was the top contender, number two in the world. Then, the fight game changed.

I can't stand it. I can't stand it any more.

Ann

They can hear you. Smell you. They see you.

Noland

Scarlett: Rhett, don't. I shall faint.
Rhett Butler: I want you to faint. This is what you were meant for. None of the fools you've ever know have kissed you like this, have they? Your Charles, or your Frank, or your stupid Ashley.

[narrating] They had so much fucking money in there, you can build yourself stacks of houses on hundred dollar bills.

Nicky Santoro

Lloyd Christmas: You guys wanna play he who smelt it?
Travis: What's that?
Harry Dunne: It's complicated so pay attention.
Lloyd Christmas: We put the windows up, first one who smells the fart gets a point.
Harry Dunne: If you say who dealt it, double points!
Travis: I don’t want to play that!
Harry Dunne: Ok fine. Lloyd and I will play one on one.
Lloyd Christmas: Ya!
Travis: How can you play one on one? If you smell a fart and you didn't do it, isn't it obvious the other guy did?
Lloyd Christmas: I thought you said you never played before?

FREE Movie Newsletter