[Discussing their careers as marijuana growers]
J: I've a strong suspicion we should have been rocket scientists, or Nobel Peace Prize winners or something.
Charles: Peace Prize? Ooh. Be lucky to find your penis for a piss, the amount you keep smoking.

Don't worry. We can walk to the curb from here.

Alvy Singer

Consult your doctor before using this product. Side effects may include oily discharge, hives, loss of appetite, low blood pressure. If you have diabetes or a history of kidney trouble, you're dead, asshole!


You dare not do that.

Mola Ram

I wanna kiss ya-ya don't have to kiss me back if ya don't feel like it.


Dante Hicks: I thought I told you not to be dealing in front of the store.
Jay: I ain't dealin', man, what you talkin' about?
Willam Black: Hey, man, you got anything?
Jay: Yeah, man, what you want?

[discussing the assassination of President Garfield] If you were to try to assassination a king, sir, the... how shall I say it? The aura of royalty would cause you to miss. But, the president... I mean, why not shoot the president?

English Bob

She has more talent, more conviction than anyone else I know!

Chase Collins

Natalie Hegalhuzen: You know that all my writings have called this occupation a violation of international law and its practitioners are criminals?
Brand Hauser: Do you really believe all this stuff you write?
Natalie Hegalhuzen: Anyone who can causes this much mayhem when they didn't have to? The amount of suffering that I've seen?
Brand Hauser: I know.
[helicoper flies overhead]
Brand Hauser: [speaking on the phone] Ok. Hold on a sec.
[speaking to Natalie again]
Brand Hauser: But the way I look at it is this: the day we can actually feel and hear all the suffering of mankind, that's the day when "The Christ" will come back! So we got that going for us.
[speaking on the phone again]
Brand Hauser: I'll be out in a minute.
[speaking to Natalie again]
Brand Hauser: Or 'The Buddha', or Allah, whoever floats your boat.

Richie: Did you tell Margot about that letter I wrote to you?
Eli: Why? Did she mention it? Yes, I did. Why would she repeat that?
Richie: I would ask you the same question.

Johnny Cash: Why don't you tell them about the flood? Tell 'em about how you made a boat out of the front door and got us all out of there. They'll like that.
Carlene Carter: Tell us!
Johnny Cash: Come on, tell 'em. You got to pull the string tight.
Ray Cash: It was 1937; there was a flood...

Yeah! The attitude dictates that you don't care whether she comes, stays, lays, or prays. I mean whatever happens, your toes are still tappin'. Now when you got that, then you have the attitude.

Mike Damone

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