[as Daniel] My first day as a woman and I'm getting hot flashes.

Mrs. Doubtfire

You have shown me a live I could only dream about back home by masturbating in my father's woodshed.

Taj

Vincent Benedict: Money talks and bullshit walks!
Julius Benedict: How can bullshit walk?

Mary Embrey: Whatever we are, we're built in twos. We're drawn together. No matter how far I run, he's always there! He finds me. It's physics.
Ray Embrey: Wait, what are you saying? Are you saying you two are fated to be together?
Mary Embrey: I've lived for a very long time, Ray. And the one thing I learned - fate doesn't decide everything. People get to choose.

Emmett: You fall asleep during the West Wing.
Elle: Yeah, but have you seen what they're wearing?

Keep Patty away from Larry - suck the intelligence right out of her.

Gil

[describing Khan] I'll give him this

Kirk

[after being propelled from his car into a van and shooting all occupants inside] So much for seatbelts.

Mr. Smith

Ron Woodroof: Guess who's going to Mexico, lookin' for a hot date?
Dr. Eve Saks: Do I look like someone who takes vacations?
Ron Woodroof: A little tequila, sunshine and tacos never hurt anybody.

Rachel: This is my best friend Dacry, Darcy this is Dex.
Darcy: I know, you are talking about him for nine months.
Darcy: Ask Rachel out on a date.
Rachel: Darcy, we're just friends.
Darcy: Well then, ask me out.

Harry Terwilliger: Can you believe this? The son of a bitch pissed on me!
William 'Wild Bill' Wharton: Y'all like that? I'm currently cooking up some turds, to go with it. Nice soft 'uns. Uhhh! Have'em out to y'all tomorrow.

Vinny Gambini: Ms. Vito, it has been argued by me, the defense, that two sets of guys met up at the Sac-O-Suds, at the same time, driving identical metallic mint green 1964 Buick Skylark convertibles. Now, can you tell us by what you see in this picture, if the defense's case holds water?
[Lisa examines the picture]
Vinny Gambini: Ms. Vito, please answer the question: does the defense's case hold water?
Mona Lisa Vito: No! The defense is wrong!
Vinny Gambini: Are you sure?
Mona Lisa Vito: I'm positive.

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