Well if you like borsch perhaps, but I've eaten better in an oily GALLEY. My wife said to the waiter, "where did this man learn to cook? AFGHANISTAN? So then we went on to the Bolshoi ballet, to see this new girl Gizelle. Well, you remember how BEAUTIFUL she was! Well, she just married a factory manager and...

Dr. Petrov

Zeus: Who was the 21st President?
John McClane: I don't know.
Zeus: You don't know?
John McClane: No, I don't know! Do you know?
Zeus: No!

Phil: Do you know what today is?
Rita: No, what?
Phil: Today is tomorrow. It happened.

Quentin Hapsburg: Que sera sera... You do speak French, don't you?
Lt. Frank Drebin: Unfortunately no, but I do kiss that way.

This shit's bananas!


Frank Moses: [Marvin has just shot a bad guy] Feel better?
Marvin Boggs: Yeah. You guys want to get pancakes?

You with me, baby?

Buddy 'Aces' Israel

Bill: I was just admiring your sword. Quite a piece of work. Speaking of which, how is Hanzo-san?
The Bride: He's good.
Bill: Has his sushi gotten any better?
The Bride: [shakes her head]
Bill: You know, I couldn't believe it. You got him to make you a sword.
The Bride: It was easy. I just dropped your name, Bill.
Bill: [chuckles] That'd do it.

[to Speed's mother] Your son seems to be interested in only one thing. All he talks about, all he seems capable of thinking about... is automobile racing.


Luke, you can destroy the Emperor. He has foreseen this. It is your destiny. Join me, and together we can rule the galaxy as father and son.

Darth Vader

I could have danced all night.

Eliza Doolittle

[pointing a gun at Sally] Your gonna suck me dry, and you'll never ever stop!


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