Percy Garris: Can you hit anything?
Sundance Kid: Sometimes.

[during her "No Penis Intended" comedy routine after the nominations] Yes, I suppose I'll forgive him... in HELL! HA HA HA HA!

Callie Webb

It's like War of the Worlds.


Our town needs to win!

G.G. Sparrow

Virginia Woolf: Do you think I may one day escape?
Vanessa Bell: One day.

Jimmy 'Popeye' Doyle: If that's not a drop I'll open up a charge for you at Bloomingdale's.
Buddy "Cloudy" Russo: Make it Alexander's Toy Department.

Oh, you federally fucked now.

Alonzo Harris

Daniel Day-Lewis would have torn that scene apart.

George Simmons

Sugar: I come from this musical family. My mother is a piano teacher and my father was a conductor.
Joe: Where did he conduct?
Sugar: On the Baltimore and Ohio.

Kumar: So where you going to go now, Neil?
Neil Patrick Harris: [puts on sunglasses] Wherever God takes me!

Karl: Sir, I'm retired navy, I know all about classified. But one more thing. The person who finds her gets to name her right?
Dan: Yes, yes that's right, that's right.
Karl: I wanna name her Dottie after my wife. She's a vicious life-sucking bitch from which there is no escape.

Man in Bakery: I would settle for something shaped like a fish.
Dennis: Go to a fishmonger!
Man in Bakery: I'm a vegetarian.

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